Some days life goes according to plan. Some days it doesn’t. And some days life goes so wrong we can’t handle it on our own.
We recently had a spate of car trouble which left me without a vehicle for two weeks. Since I work from home, it was not a major problem, but several times during those two weeks I needed to rely on a friend to take me on an errand, or borrow a relative’s car to get to an appointment. Then a second car broke down, leaving us with one vehicle for three drivers, two of which commuted long distances to work—in opposite directions.
Sometimes we cannot navigate the challenges of life without help from others.
Unfortunately, we independent Americans often have problems accepting help, or even admitting we need it. And this resistance to seeking help leads to unnecessary stress, unhealthy choices and burnout.
Because we humans were created to live in community. We need others in our lives to advise, comfort and encourage us through the tough times. Even introverts like me need a support network.
Asking for help can be humbling, but the wise person learns how to do it gracefully. If you find yourself cringing at the thought you might need help, maybe you struggle with one of these four issues:
Fear of losing face – We’ve all run across stories of some needy family who refused help of any kind because they were unwilling to accept “charity” on principle. Even as a child I could see how damaging this was. Such people are bound by the fear of what others might think. How much pain could be avoided if we stopped rejecting help because we’re afraid others will think less of us?
Perfectionism – Striving for excellence is a good thing, but when we insist on perfection at all times we create problems. We all fail from time to time. Those who admit their mistakes, learn from them and move on get much further in life. Never fall into the trap of thinking success means you never need help.
Failure to build a network – Once upon a time, most humans lived in small communities surrounded by extended family. They looked out for each other. Nowadays many of us live far from family, and frequent moves make it challenging to maintain close friends. It’s no easy task to find and create a network of friends you can rely on when life goes tilt, but if you don’t you’ll be left with no one to turn to but strangers.
Failure to help others – Help is a two-way street. Those who are willing to sacrifice their own agendas to help others are more likely to receive help when they need it themselves. Don’t be stingy with your time and resources.
Children aren’t afraid to ask for help. We adults shouldn’t be either.
