How to Say, “I Love You” (to an Extrovert)

Last week I wrote a post on 7 ways to say “I love you” to an introvert, so I thought it appropriate to balance that post with one about saying “I love you” to an extrovert. This is the other half of that concept. Following are some suggestions regarding how introverts can show love to their more extroverted family members.  

 Seven ways introverts can show love to an extrovert:

1. Try New Things  When your loved one suggests trying something you’ve never done before, such as ballroom dancing lessons, whitewater rafting, or going to the opera, don’t chicken out. Go for it. If you stick to activities you already know you like, how will you grow? Embrace new activities. You might discover a new hobby, and even if you find you don’t like it, you will have shown your loved ones you cared enough to try.
2. Open up  Don’t keep family members in the dark. Every now and then let them know what you are feeling. Share your recent frustrations, the things you found funny, and what you’ve been mulling over. Our more expressive loved ones may be surprised at what is really going on behind our mild-mannered exteriors. They’ll never know if we never tell them.
3. Say Yes. There are days when you simply cannot face interacting with another human being (and even the dog is questionable.) But on other days, consider going along with your more social family members, even if you don’t feel like it. (Let’s face it, some of us would rarely go out if we waited until we felt like it.)  Remind yourself that socializing is what fills up an extrovert’s energy tank and do the loving thing by saying, “Yes.”
4. Find Middle Ground. Your loved one wants to invite the whole class over for dinner. The very idea makes you want to barricade yourself in a quiet room with a strong door (and a large bookcase). Propose a compromise: invite a few people instead of the whole group. When an event seems too big or overwhelming, always look for a way to make it work for both of you.
5. Listen. When your loved one returns home bubbling with enthusiasm, set aside what you are doing and listen while they tell you about it. Some people process best by talking. We show how much we love them by listening. Give them a chance to share their day, or vent their frustrations, or ramble on about their conflicting feelings. You get to find out what’s happening in their life, and they get an opportunity process their emotions and re-establish equilibrium. Hooray for both of you.
6. Take risks. Yes, I really mean it. Some people thrive on taking risks and embracing the unknown. They love it when we join them. Those of us who are naturally more cautious need to loosen our white-knuckled grip from time to time and embrace their crazy ideas, even if we don’t know exactly how it will turn out. I am not saying we need to start risking life and limb, but we can go along with their latest plan even if we might end up looking foolish, or saying something dumb or [gasp] losing the game. Go ahead, take a risk. At the very least you’ll have funny stories to laugh about later.
7. Give fair warning. When you come home from a day at work feeling beyond exhausted, don’t simply toss your stuff on the counter and disappear into your room. Do others the courtesy of explaining why (a few simple words will do.) Your loved ones will be relieved to know that you are not mad at them. They might even try harder to give you the peace and quiet you crave.

Anyone have a story to illustrate one of these suggestions? If so, tell me about it.

Related posts: Seven Ways to Say I Love You (to an Introvert)