Who’s That? And Why Do I Care?

You are helping to clean out Great-Aunt Emmaline’s attic and you come across a shoebox filled with old photos. You leaf through them, chuckling at the shots of your aunts and uncles as children, (Uncle Ron always was a goofball, look at that face) and smiling in a vacant way at vintage photos of people you do not recognize. Perhaps Great-Aunt Emmaline scrawled names and dates on the back, giving you a hint about who is staring at you from generations past. But what if she didn’t, and there’s no longer anyone alive who can tell you? What then?

Does it matter?

Identifying the subjects of family photos will not help you in any obvious way. It won’t affect your IQ score, or your job prospects, or your credit rating. But admit it, if you found a photo like the one below, you’d be curious.

Who is it? Why is he wearing that outfit? Did he grow up to be a soldier? In which army? Every photo has a story behind it, and it’s the story that’s the important thing. Here’s a few examples from my own archive:

This one is a wedding picture of my great-grandparents, who were married on New Year’s Day, 1900. How cool is that? I missed meeting my great-grandfather by a matter of days, but my great-grandmother died when I was sixteen, so I’ve heard quite a few of her stories. 

Here’s another, from my childhood. It might look like a bad amateur photo to you, but I know the story behind it—a story where my father and his sisters pulled an elaborate practical joke on their brother. We kids were too young to get the joke, but we had fun anyway. (When else did we get to sit on the roof of the car?)

Yeah, OK, so photos have stories. Still, what’s the big deal?

Studies have shown that the children who were the most familiar with their family histories tended to be the most resilient, better equipped to handle the difficulties of life. This shouldn’t come as a big surprise, really. Humans learn through stories, and what stories are closer to home than the ones about our own relatives? These real stories about real people teach us real lessons about how to succeed, (or not succeed, as the case may be.)

But the stories of past generations, both the funny ones and the poignant ones, will only continue to be passed down if we do our part. My parents and their siblings are now the “older generation”, which means they are my link to the memories of the past. When they die, those memories could be lost, which is why my husband and I have encouraged our parents to write down their stories. Because we want our children and grandchildren to hear them. Because they matter.

So, back to that shoebox … Is there someone in your family who holds a wealth of family information that will be lost when they die? If so, what are you going to do about it? Not everyone is willing, or able, to write down their life story, but we can all make a point to sit down and ask questions of our older relatives, or perhaps record their stories so we can listen to them later. This might be your last chance to get the facts straight on that story you remember grandma telling about great-great-uncle so-and-so who had to hide in the hollow tree because of that bear. Don’t miss your chance!

PS: In case you’re wondering, I have no idea who the cute little soldier boy is. You’ll have to make up your own story for him.

For more information:

A New York Times article about the the importance of family history

A Huffington Post article by psychologist Marshall Duke describing the relationship between being familiar with family lore and being resilient.