Would you let your child do something this dangerous?
Is it time to stop fearing danger?
The other day my brother-in-law told me how much fun he and his family had on vacation. They discovered a thrill-ride involving a rope swing, a cliff and a thirty-foot drop into the water. They also discovered another, higher cliff from which they leapt off into a river below. These risky, adrenaline-pumping activities were clearly highlights of his trip.
Then he said, “Would you have let your boys jump off that cliff?”
My automatic response was, “No.” Because jumping from a cliff into water of unknown depth, with a potential for submerged rocks you don’t know about and can’t see, is blatantly unsafe. Jumping from a cliff is risky, some might say irresponsible and foolhardy. And yet … Is it always wrong to take risks?
History has many examples that prove “Fortune favors the bold.” [That saying comes to us from the ancient Romans, by the way.] Those willing to take great risks sometimes reap great rewards. But what about all those who took great risks and failed? Or were injured? Or lost their lives?
Ay, there’s the rub! Taking risks is … well, risky. As in, NOT SAFE. And it seems that somewhere between my childhood and now, our society has gotten the idea that safety is of utmost importance. That if we kill enough germs and take sufficient safety precautions, our children can live in an illness-free, accident-free, pain-free utopia.
Even if such an existence were possible, would it be desirable? Or healthy? I think not.
Are we becoming bubble-wrap parents?
No mother wants to see her children get hurt, of course, but part of parenting is teaching children how to face their fears, learn from their mistakes, and get back up to try again. If we protect our kids from every potential danger, how will they ever learn to overcome hardship? Or even recognize what real danger looks like?
The Bible makes it clear that A) in this life we will have trials, and B) overcoming trials builds character. So is it really in our best interest to make safety our overriding priority? Or is the idea that we can create a safe, and therefore optimum, environment for those we love — if only we take enough safety precautions — actually a big fat lie?
I think it is. The world is a dangerous place. It always was. It always will be. But that doesn’t mean we need to live in fear. (It might mean we need to consciously resist all the fear-mongering messages the media bombards us with.) Maybe it’s time to stop fearing potential danger. Maybe it’s time to stop fearing pain. Maybe, instead of trying to prevent every conceivable hazard, we should spent our energies embracing life, hazards and all, and see how God works his good through whatever happens.
Or don’t you believe that God can (and does) bring good out of all that happens? Even the bad stuff.
My personal dilemma
Anyone who knows me is aware that I am not a big risk-taker. I do not like the idea of my boys doing inherently dangerous things, because I don’t like the idea of them getting hurt. And yet, I recognize that character is built more often on overcoming suffering and adversity than on breezing through life whole and happy. In other words, I believe that when bad things happen, it can be good for you. [Gulp!]
Sometimes we have to allow those we love to take risks; like joining the military, or becoming a missionary in an unstable part of the world, or jumping off a cliff. They might get hurt. Or even killed. But that does that mean it was wrong to accept the dangers and take the risk?
What do you think?
“The purpose of life is not to arrive at death safely and there is nothing safe about what God calls us to do. The thing is Jesus didn’t die to make us safe. You can only be marked as safe if you’ve fashioned for yourself a God small and tame. And what the world desperately needs is more dangerous disciples of an unsafe God.” Christine Caine and Ann Voskamp
Love this post, and that quote! What you’ve shared here is also one of the reasons we chose to take our nine-year-old to Rwanda on a short-term missions trip. It scared me, thinking of all the things she would see, and the emotional pain she would feel. Not to mention the chance for illness or injury. And there did come a moment when she’d gotten hurt and frightened, and I wondered if we should have taken the risk of bringing her. But God carried her through that, and he carried me, and I know all of it will have been worth it. We still can’t see all the benefits of that time, but I trust that one what day we will, because he’s always been faithful. In the words of Sara Groves, “I can’t remember a trial or a pain, he did not recycle to bring me gain.”
Great thoughts. It takes work to fight against the fear that “something bad might happen if …” But how much do we miss in life by shrinking back?
David Arthur (of Precepts Ministries) put it more bluntly. He says we have made safety into an idol. How can we teach our children to lose their lives for Christ if we teach them that their own personal safety and comfort is number one priority? Condemning words, but oh, so true.
This is one of those topics that I want to rant about, except I so easily fall into the trap of opting for the “safer” choice. Perhaps it doesn’t help that my husband is the director of Safety at his plant?