How to Cope With Discouragement

Have you ever begun a new project only to quit in discouragement?

It seemed like such a good idea, but then something happened. Maybe the project turned out to be a lot harder than you thought. Maybe the people you were counting on for help didn’t get behind the idea.

Maybe people told you it was a stupid idea, or that you weren’t good enough, or that it would never work.

Ouch!

And yet, so many great works of art, feats of athleticism, and groundbreaking ideas only happened because people refused to listen to discouragement.

 A personal discouragement story

Once upon a time, I decided to get serious and actually finish the novel I’d been puttering away at for years. I had re-written the first quarter of it several times, but I’d never gotten around to writing the rest of it. Needless to say, when I did finish the entire thing, I was quite pleased with myself.  I showed it to a few friends who read it and told me they liked it! Wow!

However, I had gone to enough writers’ groups to realize that I ought to get a professional opinion before attempting to find a publisher for my masterpiece. I sent the manuscript off, then waited eagerly for the report. I was expecting to learn that there were some rough spots here and there, or perhaps a scene or character that needed revamping.

What I learned instead was that I had made beginners mistakes from start to finish, the plot needed a major overhaul, and my main character was not nearly as likeable as I’d thought.

I was devastated.

First I was in shock: How could she say such unkind things about my wonderful main character?

Then I was in denial: I know my writing is not “beginner” level, so how could I have made so many rookie mistakes?

[Let me make it clear that this was not a case of someone criticizing my work because they didn’t happen to like it. The author took great pains to compliment me on what I was doing right, and gave clear examples to back up the negative comments.]

My steps to overcoming discouragement

• I took time to grieve before making decisions. After a few days had gone by, I had worked through the worst of the hurt feelings and I was able to take an objective look at things. My logical, analytic brain had been given sufficient data to believe the conclusions—the critique was accurate. My manuscript was not nearly as good as I had thought.

So, what was I going to do about it?

• I sought sources of encouragement. I had some long discussions with God about the whole mess, and asked him for direction, and a good attitude. I talked it over with some close friends who believe in me and my writing talents. They helped me have the courage to keep going.
• I gave myself permission to consider my manuscript a “practice novel.” This helped in two ways: A) All those hours of effort didn’t feel like a total waste, and B) It made it easier to put the manuscript aside and start over from scratch, which was what I decided I needed to do.
• I started over, armed with the confidence that I had learned some valuable lessons and my next attempt would be better. I did complete a second novel, and it is much better than my first attempt.
• My identity is not based on my success or failure. I will try to find a publisher for my new, improved story, but I don’t have all my hopes pinned to that manuscript. I already have ideas for my next project. If I keep writing, keep learning, and keep trying to produce my best possible work. I hope that sooner or later I’ll achieve that elusive goal of being published, but in the meantime I’ll focus on using my talents for God, no matter how big or small the audience.

I hope my story helped you in your battle against discouragement. We all face it. We all need to deal with it. We should all be looking for ways to encourage each other, because chances are high that those around are facing some sort of discouragement. Be the extra smile in someone else’s life today! (And thanks to all of you who have given me a word of encouragement in the past. I probably needed it more than you thought.)

I realize that some of you have may be facing discouragements a lot bigger than my example, so here are a few resources that might help:

Some practical suggestions for combating worry and discouragement.

Feeling down and you’re not sure why? This article might help.

Does it feel like the troubling circumstances you’re going through won’t ever improve? This article will help you look beyond your circumstances to God, and discover hope.

Everyone faces discouragement. This article helps you see how handling discouragement wisely can make you stronger.