Nobody wants to be labeled a quitter.
We Americans pride ourselves in our persistence. We are conditioned to be ashamed if it seems we gave up too easily, or if it looks like we are throwing away years of study or experience (not to mention thousands of tuition dollars) in order to go a different direction. Isn’t quitting a mark of either laziness or irresponsibility?
Not always.
People who quit the moment things get tough are not on the road to success, but neither are those who hold tight to their goals no matter what. Navigating the journey of life calls for a balance between persistence over obstacles and knowing when to choose an alternate route. Or, as the old Kenny Rogers song says:
You’ve got to know when to hold ‘em
Know when to fold ‘em
Know when to walk away
Know when to run
Do you know when to walk away?
Sometimes we make goals for ourselves that are impossible to reach, and sometimes life throws us a curve that pushes a previously attainable goal beyond our abilities. Successful people learn how to identify unattainable goals, and they aren’t afraid to give them up. In fact, being unable to let go of an unattainable goal can not only make you miserable, it can make you physically sick. Who wants that?
However, just because a goal is attainable doesn’t mean we should keep at it. Sometimes we discover that a goal will cost more time, effort, or money than we thought, and it is no longer worth it.
Also, people’s interests and priorities change as they grow older, which may lead to giving up on one goal in order to pursue a different one.
In other words, sometimes quitting will make us happier—but only if we approach it with the right attitude.
Are you a good quitter?
Healthy quitting is a multistep process:
First, acknowledge that quitting is a viable option. Giving yourself permission to consider quitting helps you evaluate the situation in a more objective light.
Next, make an honest assessment: Will the pursuit of this goal lead you closer to what you truly value in life, or won’t it? Is the pursuit worth the cost? Read this article for more insight on determining when to quit.
If you decide your goal is still worth pursuing, go for it. If not, it’s time to shift gears and come up with new goals. Healthy quitting always includes a new direction, with new goals that will—hopefully—lead you toward success.
Finally, don’t look back. Put the old goals behind you and focus on the new ones. No second-guessing. No beating yourself up for failing. No secretly wishing you can still have the old dream. In order to succeed, you must completely disengage from the old goals. Failing to do so leads to frustration and failure.
For more about goal disengagement and healthy quitting, check out Quitting: Why We Fear It–and Why We Shouldn’t–in Life, Love, and Work by Peg Streep and Alan Bernstein.
Have you ever looked back and realized you should have quit something a lot sooner?
How do you decide when to keep going and when to shift gears?
