A few weeks ago I talked about making a Joy List, that is, a list of the activities that bring us joy and enrich our lives. Unfortunately, life has a way of keeping us from accomplishing joyful living. Here are six joy list obstacles that we must be prepared to identify and overcome.
Identify the roadblocks.
Some joy list obstacles are like roadblocks that get in the way. What existing mindsets, habits, commitments, and priorities might keep us from participating in more of our Joy List items?
- Routines and habits. If we hope to spend more time on joy-producing activities, we must revamp our routines and habits. Otherwise, we’ll find ourselves doing the same old humdrum things we’ve always done. To overcome the force of habit, we must decide ahead of time to do something different. It may help to set out equipment or clothing ahead of time. The items will remind us of the better option and having them ready will help us overcome the difficulty of getting started (which is half the battle with any new task or activity).
- Schedule. We all have overbooked schedules. If you want time to pursue your Joy List, you must be willing to rethink your commitments and reallocate your time. This means saying no some requests from others who want you to spend time on what they think you ought to do. Allow your Joy List to aid you as you re-think your priorities and don’t allow people-pleasing tendencies to steal your joy.
- Spending patterns. Sometimes money can buy happiness—but only if we’re spending it on what genuinely makes us happy. Buying more stuff won’t bring us joy. Instead, we can invest in activities that enable us to have fun times with those we love. However, we may need to shift spending habits to reallocate money toward our new joy-enhancing priorities. What budget items are you willing to forgo to invest more in the relationships and activities that bring you joy?
Identify joy stealers.
Some joy list obstacles are beliefs and mindsets that steal the joy out of your activities. What mindsets and unhelpful beliefs might suck the joy from an activity on the list?
- Guilt. Joy-enhancing activities restore energy that’s been depleted by more stressful or challenging tasks. They are valuable for your wellbeing—even when they don’t directly help you achieve goals or cross items off our to-do lists. Rather than feel guilty for wasting time on “unproductive” activities, we must remind ourselves that time spent on Joy-List activities is an investment in our future health, life satisfaction, and productivity. For example, reading is an activity on my joy list. If I feel guilty when I read because I think I ought to be doing something “more productive” I can’t fully enjoy reading as I should. This must not be!
- Comparison and competition. The point of leisure activities and hobbies is to enjoy life. Getting good enough to go pro is NOT the goal. Don’t spoil the fun by comparing your results to others or measuring your success by your output. If you love to paint, then paint with abandon. Take creative risks, make amateur mistakes, and don’t fret over imperfect results. Remember: It’s the process that matters rather than the output. Have fun, share laughs, and learn something new.
- Shoulds and Oughts. Don’t allow your Joy List to become a dictator. You may have included some things on your list that aren’t as joy-inducing as you’d thought. That’s OK. Give yourself the freedom to quit what doesn’t work and to try something else instead. Also, be honest about what truly brings you joy. Don’t let others tell you what you ought to enjoy or what should be fun.
For example, if I start into a book (that someone else raved about) and then decide I don’t like it I give myself permission to stop reading it. Whether I’ve read two chapters or two-thirds. This is not being a quitter, it’s choosing not to waste time reading something I don’t like or don’t care about. This is why one of my favorite mottos is: Life is too short to read books you don’t enjoy.
In a similar fashion, life is too short to waste your precious leisure time on activities that don’t recharge you or inspire you.
Your Turn. What are your Joy List obstacles?
You will face roadblocks and joy-stealers this week. Decide ahead of time that joy-producing activities are a priority. This will help you overcome the obstacles so you can find more joy in life, strengthen your relationships, and feel more life satisfaction.
