A Different Kind of Resolution

How do you see yourself?

By now many of you are sick of hearing about resolutions.

Me too.

But give me the benefit of the doubt and read on anyway.

Because my resolution is simple: I resolve to be myself.

Sounds easy enough, but is it?

When almost everywhere you look there is some sort of message about what you need to be better, cooler, or more successful.

When my everyday life pales in comparison to the impactful lives of others.

When there are things about myself and my current situation I am not altogether happy about.

So how does a body approach this resolution?

Step One: know thyself

What do you believe? What are your values? What gives your life meaning? Where is your life making an impact–right now, with the people already around you?

Go ahead, make a list. It might be harder than you think.

But really, if you can’t articulate your values—and the basic life tenets you base them on—how can you make goals or determine priorities?

Step Two: check for authenticity

Once you have a handle on your true values, it’s time for a reality check. Ask yourself this question:

Do I see these values reflected in my lifestyle?

Do my spending habits support or conflict with those values? What about my schedule? Or how I spend my free time?

An example:

In her book The Gifts of Imperfection Brene Brown relates how she and her husband decided to list the things and activities which helped their family be healthy and happy. When they studied the list, they realized it was in stark contrast to the items on their dream list. Their happy list included things like: eating healthy meals together, free weekends, time to exercise, time spent with friends, etc. Their dream list included a bigger house, salary goals, professional recognition, and exotic vacations.

They realized most items on the dream list would require a continued focus on working hard to gain more money and success, whereas many of the things on the happy list were available right away, if only they chose to spend their time and energy on them.

As a result, they made intentional lifestyle changes, which included limiting the number of extracurricular activities their daughter could participate in and cutting back on work hours. They decided that a less-busy schedule, a smaller budget and a simpler life were more in line with their values than pursuing what the society around them claimed was important.

Where have you and I been making similar mistakes?

In what areas have we bought into somebody else’s values? Or simply never taken the time to consider how specific lifestyle choices reflect—or contradict—our values.

• Do I shop at second-hand stores because I enjoy the thrill of finding a good bargain, or because I’m still trying to please my penny-pinching Grandfather?
• Do I enjoy maintaining five flower beds, or is it really a matter of trying to compete with the neighbors? Do I actually hate a simpler landscape layout, or would it be a relief?
• Am I concerned about the environment but too over-scheduled to live in the environmentally responsible way I feel I should? Perhaps too over-scheduled to even take time to do preliminary research on what changes to make?

You get the idea.

So, my simple resolution to be myself isn’t quite so simple.

But it is most definitely worthwhile. And guaranteed to lead to a happier, healthier me.

Want to join me?