I Like My Box

We all live in a virtual box, built of personality, preferences, and life experiences. Inside our box, life is familiar, comfortable, and predictable. Outside our box, … yikes. Leaving our box would mean change, something we humans are not fond of.

For the most part, I am open to change on an intellectual level. I understand that change is a healthy and normal part of our human existence. And yet, when I come face to face with change, I am not always so enthusiastic.

Why?

Change means stepping into the unknown.

Inside my box I know what I am good at, what I like, and who likes me. Outside my box I can only guess. When I try something new, I might not like it. I might not be good at it. [News flash: We should never expect to be good at something when we are a beginner. We should expect to fail—for a while.] And we humans will do almost anything to avoid failure. So much safer to stay in our box, even if we’re bored and miserable.

Change means letting go.

In order for change to occur, I must be willing to lose some facet of my current box. A habit. A way of doing things. A belief about my abilities. The status quo. Sometimes we must let go of big things, like quitting a job in order t pursue something else. Sometimes we must let go of small things, like giving up a TV show because we realize it is negatively affecting our attitude at work. But change rarely comes without some sort of sacrifice.

Change means work.

Our brains prefer handling as much of life as possible on autopilot. To step out of our usual behavior and act in a different way requires conscious effort. It’s so much easier to stick with the old way of doing things, even if that old way leads to habits or consequences we don’t like.

Change means losing face.

If we alter our opinions, beliefs, or way of doing things, it may appear that we were previously in error. Some of us are ready to change opinions when new information points to a better truth, but others hold onto their old beliefs even in the face of incontrovertible evidence. Why the reluctance to bring new opinions into the box? Fear of losing the respect of others? Or perhaps fear of losing an identity that was somehow connected to the old belief?

Change means accepting something I don’t like.

Sometimes changes are forced upon us: injuries, company policies, relocations. While there are times when resistance is the best choice, for most situations accepting the new reality and finding ways to adapt is the best policy, even when it means embracing unpleasant or painful situations. Much as we hate to admit it, it is often through these unpleasant situations that we grow the most. Sigh.

Can you relate? What are the biggest reasons you avoid change?

Maybe it’s time to risk another adventure outside your box.