How often do you go about your day wondering if anything you do matters? Wondering if you matter?
Yeah, me too.
Why do we doubt our self-worth? Because the voice of shame whispers to us. It tells us to look around and points out how we fall short of others.
Shame tells us we are not enough: Not thin enough, fit enough, smart enough, strong enough, successful enough, righteous enough…
Shame also keeps track of our mistakes: every wrong thing we said, every wrong thing we did, and everything we failed to do. Everything we should have done or could have done differently. Shame reminds us of these moments every time we face a similar situation.
Shame wants us to believe we are failures. Losers. Worthless.
Why do we listen to it?
Because we yearn for approval, and yet so often even our best efforts result in disappointment from those we hoped to impress. Those disappointments add up and we begin to believe we are not enough. That we will never be enough.
And if we believe we aren’t enough, how can we matter?
BUT, shame is a liar. Because shame only tells a part of the story—the negative part. Shame wants us to forget the positive parts of our story. The successful moments, the joys and victories, the many times we do the right thing. The times we are enough. The times our seemingly insignificant acts make a difference in someone’s life.
Today it is time to stop believing the lies shame tells, and instead believe the whole truth.
The Truth
- You exist, therefore you matter
- You are God’s creation, therefore you are valuable to God.
- Your mistakes do not define you (unless you let them)
- Shame will never tell the whole story
- You are capable of changing for the better, of learning new skills, and adopting new attitudes
- Your worth is not based on what you do, (or don’t do)
- Being better than someone will not make you more worthy
- Being good at something will not make you more worthy
- All the recognition, success, and wealth in the world will not make you more worthy
- Your mistakes and failures do not make you less worthy
Therefore you matter
- Because you are God’s valuable creation, you have all the worth you need
- You can learn to recognize shame’s voice and choose not to listen to it. You can fight it by reminding yourself of the whole truth: You are not defined by your mistakes and weaknesses, but by the fact that you are a loved and valuable child of God.
- You are not called to be anyone but you, and you are not called to live anyone else’s life but your own. Your life, no matter how ordinary, matters.
- Your simple, everyday acts of kindness matter more than you can ever know
You matter!
Believe it.
Act like it.
Make a difference in your own small way today.
Ashley Heddings says
Such an amazing post Lisa! I was directed to this blog after sharing with a friend about a song by Zach Williams called “Fear is a Liar”. I would encourage you to listen to it if you haven’t heard it already. Thank you for taking the time to re-affirm a feeling of worthiness – it is a message that resonates with so many of us!
Lisa E Betz says
Thanks for the tip.
Unfortunately, we all need to be reminded of our worthiness from time to time. And yes, fear is a liar, just like shame.