Remember that old Kermit the Frog song It’s Not Easy Bein’ Green? In the song, he wishes he could be more colorful instead of blending in and being overlooked, (can anyone relate?) but eventually he decides bein’ green is OK after all.
Like Kermit, we all have reasons we don’t like ourselves. The wise frogs among us choose to be OK with who they are despite the imperfections.
It’s not easy bein’ the authentic Lisa instead of the Lisa I wish I could be, or Lisa I think others want me to be. Being Lisa means accepting my weaknesses and faults instead of pretending to be perfect. It means standing up for what I believe even when it makes me unpopular. But I think it’s better than the alternative—living an inauthentic life.
An inauthentic (false, phony, insincere)life leads to:
- Guilt — because we allow society to squeeze us into its mold instead of acting how we know we should.
- Frustration — because we are trying to please others rather than living the way we would prefer
- Weariness — because we are not prioritizing what feeds our soul and stirs our passions
In contrast, an authentic (genuine, legitimate, sincere) life allows:
- Integrity I can stand up for the causes and beliefs I really care about, rather than ones I’ve been guilted or pressured into serving.
- Freedom to let go of stuff and activities I only pretend an interest in, so I can make room for more of the stuff and activities that fill my tank and spark my passions.
- Self-esteem I like myself more when I know I am being true to myself (even when that means accepting the warts and quirks).
- Less stress because I’m not burdened with a pile of disguises and false personas.
All of which leads to a more satisfying and meaningful life.
That’s why I place a high value on living a life as authentically as possible. It isn’t easy to own my foibles, weaknesses and eccentricities. It isn’t easy to be vulnerable and show the real me to a cruel world. But I think it’s worth it.
How about you? Are you willing to take the challenge and BE YOU today?
10 simple ways to be more YOU today
- List ten things you like about yourself. Thank God for them. Ponder how those attributes can help you today.
- Go through your house and find something you’ve never really liked. Can you get rid of it?
- Take a few minutes to do a simple activity you enjoy. Pull out your adult coloring book, crank the music and dance, walk to your favorite spot and soak in the scenery. Whatever fills your tank.
- Make a small choice that upholds your preferences, rather than opting for what will please someone else. It might be as simple as what to eat for breakfast.
- When you find yourself acting or saying things that are inauthentic, stop and ask yourself how it makes you feel. What compelled you to pretend instead of being totally YOU?
- Listen to a favorite piece of music. Sing along, or wave your imaginary baton with gusto. (Ignore the people in the other lane who might be staring at you. Don’t let them ruin your fun.)
- Choose one value that means a lot to you. Find a way you can live that value out today. For example, if you value family time, choose to play with the kids for a while before you face the backlog of email or dirty dishes.
- When asked for your opinion, actually give it instead of agreeing with what everyone else said. (Politely, of course.)
- Wear something that is totally YOU, even though it might stand out.
- Pick an area where you often compare yourself to others and feel inadequate. Fill in the following: I am/am not _____ but it’s OK because that does not define who I am. My strengths include _____ and I can be proud of that.
BONUS IDEA: If you’re really brave, go through your closet and pull out all the items that you know deep down are NOT YOU. Pack them in a box and stash it somewhere. If you haven’t missed them in a year, give them away.
