One of the best pieces of advice I got as a young mom was “Pick Your Battles”. Those three simple words helped me countless times—mostly by reminding me which battles were worth fighting just then and which were not.
I’m no longer in the parents-with-kids phase of life, but Pick Your Battles is still one of my guiding principles. It helps me…
- Fight guilt. I can’t get involved in everything I think I should be doing. I need to choose which battles to fight, and which are for someone else or some other chapter in my life. Knowing I’ve made an intentional choice helps me let go of the ones I haven’t chosen.
- Avoid overwhelm. Too many causes. Too many needs. Too much information about the world’s problems and how I should be part of the solution…. I can flounder in the fire hose of potentialities pr I can think about which battles I choose to fight. Once I know which battles are mine, I can filter out most of the information and pay attention to the relevant bits without feeling overwhelmed.
- Decide when to say No. I cannot pick every battle. I cannot say Yes to every request. I can choose which activities and requests coincide with my current reality and purpose. It’s easier to say No to something when I know it’s not my battle.
- Take a productive next step. I cannot improve every area of my life at once. If I try, I will either get frustrated at my lack of success or paralyzed because I don’t know where to begin. I must be patient and choose one next step in one area at a time. By choosing one battle at a time I make slow and steady progress.
- Avoid sticking my nose where it doesn’t belong. I can’t fix the people around me. I probably shouldn’t be trying to. Unless others have specifically asked for my help, I don’t need to be fighting their battles. (Even when they clearly aren’t fighting them for themselves.)
What battles are you facing in your life today?
Are they all necessary?
Questions to help you pick your battles wisely.
- What would happen if I didn’t fight this battle? What is the worst-case scenario? In the greater scheme of things, how important is it to tackle this battle?
- Of all the battles I could be fighting right now, how important is this one? Are there others that are more important? Could I make more progress on the important ones if I let this one go?
- Am I clear on how this battle fits into my values and priorities?
- Is the situation so distressing to me that I cannot stand by and ignore it? Or am I choosing this battle only out of guilt?
- Is my goal in this battle constructive or vindictive? Any battle worth fighting should be aimed at positive improvement and benefit for all involved.
- Will the payoff outweigh the cost? Will the conflict/stress/effort be worth it?
Great advice here. It deserves to be read and taken seriously. I wish I had embraced it earlier in my life.
As a believer, for me it boils down to “Only do what you are assigned to do. Otherwise you’re telling God you feel the need to improve on His plan.” Of course that requires living close enough to the Lord day by day to discern His voice. That’s pretty important advice, too.
Well stated. The more we know we are following God’s assignment for us, the easier it is to pick the right battles and let the others go.