Five Things I’ve Learned Lately

1. I’ve learned new insights about what makes me tick

I’ve known for many years that interacting with people saps my energy. Books on introversion helped me understand the realities of people-energy and my need for alone-time. However reading The Road Back to You taught me that my underlying motivation is all about sufficiency. I tend to hoard my energy because I fear I will run out. For me, hoarding usually means avoiding potentially people-energy-sapping situations.

Understanding how my fear (that I might lack the wherewithal to succeed) affects my choices helps me find the confidence to step out of my comfort zone. I am learning to notice when I instinctively shrink back into hoarding mode, so that I can begin to question my response by asking myself: Do I really have insufficient energy to face this or am I responding out of fear? and Is the activity worth the cost anyway?

2. I have always been a minimalist

When it comes to style, décor, or life in general, I prefer simple. No fuss. No frills. No glitter or glamour. Nothing flashy or ornate. No chrome, gilt, or shiny leather. No drama. No spotlights. I always thought it was merely a preference thing. Then I discovered in The Road Back to You that people with my personality type are naturally inclined to be minimalists. So I thought back to my childhood and realized that that even as a child I preferred a simple and straightforward approach to life. (My mother confirmed this, in case you are wondering.)

Now I understand how my minimalist tendencies fit into my personality type’s underlying motivation: The less one needs, the easier it is to maintain sufficiency. I am happy being a minimalist regardless of the why, but it is interesting to understand it.

3. Without stories, stuff is just stuff

I have been helping my parents downsize for the last several months. We have been sorting through a few boxes each week. The majority of items we’ve gone through are things I don’t remember seeing before. If I had been facing those boxes alone I wouldn’t have had any idea where the items came from or how they ended up in my parents’ basement. It would have been mere stuff. But since we have the luxury of going through it slowly I get to hear the stories: The craft project that was never finished. Teaching materials Mom developed from scratch. Four generations of wedding dresses…. We are letting much of it go, (to a good home somewhere else whenever possible) but the stories those items represent have not been lost. I am forever grateful that this downsizing is a joint project not a solo effort.

Do you know the stories behind the stuff in your parents’ homes? Do your children know yours?

4. I still have far to go, but I’m making progress

I was chugging along on my next novel manuscript—until I came face-to-face with the truth that it wasn’t going to work. Not a fun thing to admit, but there it was. The novel had underlying structural issues. I had to back up, take a hard look at the big picture, and reevaluate my decisions behind every aspect of the story: character motivation, subplots, etc. I was pretty discouraged. It felt like a year’s worth of effort was destined for the scrap heap.

How did this happen? The root cause, I decided, was that I did not have a firm enough grasp of the foundational elements I needed to make a plot that worked. So I have been pouring over books on structure and rebuilding the foundation of the story. Hopefully I am learning more about the process so the next time I will not repeat these mistakes. Maybe one day plotting will come easily. Until then, I will persevere, step by small step.

5. I discovered B Corps.

In early January my son started a new job with a non-profit called B Lab. It’s an organization started thirteen years ago by three friends who wanted to do something to make the world a better place. According to their website, B Lab is an “organization dedicated to making it easier for mission-driven companies to protect and improve their positive impact over time.” They accomplished this by creating a comprehensive accreditation process that awards companies the title B Corporation (or B Corp). “B Corporations are businesses that are legally required to consider the impact of their decisions on their workers, customers, community, and environment.”

I think B Lab is a great example of how small steps matter. Instead of ranting about corporate greed or despairing at the immensity of the problem, they decided to do what they could. And it’s making a difference. Currently there are over 2,700 B Corps in 60 countries. If you want to support ethical businesses with your purchases, try searching the B Corp directory.

Have you learned anything interesting about yourself or your world lately? I bet you have, but maybe–like me–you need to stop and think about it.