We all have negative voices in our heads. They say things like:
“You will always be a loser.”
“You aren’t good enough.”
“You’re too stupid, too fat, too slow, too broken.”
They lie to us, those voices. You know that, right?
The voices whisper lies BUT we don’t have to believe them!
I know, easier said than done. The harder we try to ignore them, the louder they get. So, instead of ignoring them, why not try this—cop some attitude and talk back!
How to talk back to the voices in your head
- Acknowledge that you hear what the voice is saying. Let the voice know that you hear its opinions loud and clear.
- Then point out it’s just an opinion. The voice you are hearing is not God. Therefore the voice is not infallible or omniscient. The voice is entitled to its opinion, but that doesn’t make it true.
- Consider how the accusation may seem to be true. For example, if the voice claims you are ugly, you could start by saying, “I agree, I’ll probably never look like a fashion model…”
- Then offer a rebuttal. This is where you get to talk back. The voice has had its say and now you get yours. Please understand that you aren’t likely to change the voice’s opinion. That isn’t the goal. Your rebuttal is all about speaking truth for your own mind, heart, and soul to hear. So speak up!
You can disagree with the voices in any number of ways. Here are some ideas:
- Give an example or two that proves the accusation wrong, such as. “Actually, the lady at the dentist’s office complimented me on my outfit last week. (So there!)”
- Stand up for your values. Say something like, “Impressing others with my clothes is not what’s important to me. I would much rather be noticed for my empathy or my hard work than for how I look.”
- Point out faulty logic. “I can’t afford to wear designer clothes or hire a personal trainer, but that doesn’t mean I cannot look nice or feel good about myself.”
- Tell the voice it’s exaggerating. “Just because I’m not drop-dead-gorgeous does not make me ugly. There is a wide chasm between the two and I am somewhere in between.”
- Explain that the accusations relate to a past chapter of your life. “I used to fixate about my weight but I have moved on. I have developed a healthy attitude about eating and exercise and I don’t need to be stuck in the past just because you are.”
- Ask the voice questions like “How does that help me today? Or, What makes you think that if I looked like a model my life would be any better?”
- Quote scripture that validities your position. For example: Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on jewelry, or beautiful clothes, or hair arrangement. Be beautiful inside, in your hearts, with the lasting charm of a gentle and quiet spirit that is so precious to God. (1 Peter 3:3-4)
Final thoughts. Don’t allow the voices to drag you into a debate. You don’t have to prove anything to them or take them seriously. Instead, speak to them politely but firmly, like you would to a small child who is misbehaving.
What lies are the voices in your head whispering? How can you talk back and have the final word?
