I recently helped my parents move from a large house to a one-bedroom retirement apartment. This meant facing the daunting challenge of sifting through a lifetime of acquisitions, attempting to select which items should be kept and which would need to go.
Downsizing is not for the weak of heart. But sooner or later we all face it, whether we’re helping our parents or facing our own houses full of stuff.
Here are some observations I made through the process. These underlying principles apply whether we are facing a major downsize or just decluttering a closet or two.
Before is better than after.
I’m so glad I was able to work through the stuff with my parents around to tell me where it came from and what it meant to them. We sifted through many years of memories, including treasures I don’t recall ever seeing before. If this had happened after they were gone I would have missed so many stories about my parents, grandparents, and various other forebears whose items have been handed down.
Minimalist insight: What’s the point of saving family heirlooms if they’re piled in boxes in the attic? Why not find a way to enjoy them, or share their stories with your offspring?
Plan ahead. Way ahead.
Sorting through a lifetime of treasures is difficult and time-consuming. It’s easier to make decisions if you can take it slowly. In our case I drove over to my parents’ house once a week for over a year. Each week we would sort through a handful of boxes, enough to feel like we’d made progress but not so many that we hit decision paralysis.
Minimalist insight: Downsizing it a lot easier if we are intentional about thinning out our own excess a little at a time. You won’t regret it when the time comes to move.
Find delight in giving gifts.
Because we began sorting well in advance, my parents had plenty of time to give their excess to friends and family. I quickly lost count of all the people who were delighted to have a special something from my parents’ house that had particular meaning for them. A knickknack, a small painting, an antique tea cup… Not only did my parents find joy in giving gifts, but they know those objects will be cherished in new homes rather than languishing in a landfill.
Minimalist insight: We don’t have to wait for the Big Move to give away some of our stuff. Whose day can you brighten by giving them a little something that reminds them of you?
Keep enough to make the new space feel like home.
My parents moved from a two-hundred-year-old stone house into a two-year-old apartment building. And yet, when you step into their space it feels a little like walking into their rustic old house. Instead of considering only what was practical, they kept enough things that “sparked joy” that their apartment still feels like home.
Minimalist insight: Let your personality shine in your home. Proudly give the items you love pride of place, even if they might not be suitable for the cover of House Beautiful.
It’s amazing what will fit in the new space.
Part or what makes their new place feel like home are the pieces of antique furniture they brought with them. When I first saw the apartment I didn’t see where they could put some or their favorite pieces. But my dad measured carefully and voila: furniture that “sparks joy” fit snugly in several spots as if they were made to go there. Some of the items have been put to new use, but they all add to the homey vibe.
Minimalist insight: It’s OK to find new uses for old pieces of furniture. Think outside the box and you may find the perfect place for something you didn’t know could fit.
Rethink Value.
An item’s value has little to do with its sale price and a lot to do with how much someone wants it or needs it. On top of that, the memories we associate with certain belongings give us eyes to see beauty where others cannot. When it comes to downsizing, things will go smoother if we don’t make assumptions about what items other family members actually want. There will be some “expensive” items that no one wants, and some “trivial” items that someone is delighted to have.
Minimalist insight: Are there “valuable” items you are saving for your offspring? Have you asked them if they actually want the items? Could some of those items be given away sooner rather than later?
Look for creative outlets.
When it comes to disposing of excess, there are many viable options beyond the local Goodwill or homeless ministry. There’s a whole world of virtual estate auctions, eBay dealers, and private collectors that may be happy for your stuff. For example: through the internet, my sister found collectors who were delighted to acquire some of my mother’s antique clothing.
Minimalist insight: Things you no longer need can become someone else’s treasures. It just takes a little time and intention.
I hope these insights will encourage you as you face your next downsizing project.
Thank you, Lisa, for your thoughts. Auctions will be one good option for my mom.
When I visited her in California last summer, she voiced her worries about the special decor or furniture pieces from our family ‘s years overseas and my dad’s work with World Vision. My siblings and I either can’t take them (distance) or we have all we need and in our own style. “If you kids don’t want them, what happens to them? They’re too good for a thrift store.” Since I now live in PA where I’ve learned about auctions, I told her about auctions and how people who loved the pieces could buy them. That made here feel much better.
Bill and I are entering “move mode” as we look for a rancher for our retirement. It’s not necessarily downsizing, since we’re already in a small place, but any move after 20 years means decisions about what–of all that stuff we’ve accumulated–to take and what to jettison. I’m starting to go through stuff, but it’s difficult when I don’t even know the layout of our next home. One thing is for sure though. After years in a historic house with almost no storage, if the next place doesn’t have plenty of built-ins for storage, I’ll be hiring a contractor to add them!
My parents were all set to use a virtual auction service called MaxSold which would have taken care of a lot of their stuff in one fell swoop, but then Covid hit and all the final moving plans fell through. They seemed like a very professional outfit, so I would check them out.
Your counsel and minimalist insights concerning downsizing is worthy of note. Planning ahead helps us to share with family and friends, and feel better for it.
Planning ahead is a good practice in almost every circumstance. And yes, helping others makes the work worth it.
I have to laugh. My grandma moved from an old huge Victorian, into a smaller three-bedroom house, then into a two-bedroom apartment, and then into a single room in a retirement home. She hired an interior designer to help her with her antiques for each move, including into the single room.
My dad made scale drawings so he could move the furniture around and see what would fit. The facility actually has staff to help people decide what will fit in their new space.