We aren’t the totally perfect, ultra-healthy, and wildly successful people we sometimes wish we were. Our plans don’t always pan out the way we’d hoped. And sometimes, life is just plain frustrating, disappointing, or overwhelming.
When we’re facing moments like those, we need to hear that it’s OK. That we’re OK. That life will be OK.
So for the next three weeks I’ll be looking at a multitude of different ways where we can choose to be OK despite our struggles, disappointments, and imperfections.
Week One: Give yourself permission
Some days, our definition of the “right” way to behave gets in the way of making the most of an opportunity, or reacting to life in the most authentic manner. In those moments, we need to give ourselves permission to act with courage, authenticity, and purpose.
In light of that, here are a week’s worth of situations where we might need to give ourselves permission…
1. It’s OK to ask for help. Only God is all-sufficient. The rest of us need help now and then. There is no shame in asking for help. In fact, asking for help is often smarter and more efficient than going it alone. Stubbornly refusing to ask for help can lead to problems, such as wasting tons of time trying to figure it out by yourself, or creating an even worse problem.
2. It’s OK to say, “Yes.” Some of us don’t like taking risks or doing anything that might make us look foolish. But if we don’t say “Yes” to new and possibly difficult things now and then we’ll miss out on opportunities to grow. I know it takes extra energy and motivation to stray from our comfort zone, but we need to give ourselves permission to say “Yes” anyway. It’ll be worth it in the long run.
3. It’s OK to be a beginner (at any age). It’s a bit embarrassing to make rookie mistakes when you’re old enough to be the instructor’s grandmother. But so what? The benefits of learning new skills and trying new things far outweighs the “cost” of a little embarrassment. The fact that it takes years to become an expert pianist doesn’t mean a beginner can’t enjoy learning to play simple tunes.
4. It’s OK to say, “No.” Some of us struggle with this fact every single time. We hate disappointing others. We hate missing out. Whatever our reasons, we hate saying “No.” However, every now and then, no is the best choice. So give yourself permission to honor your boundaries and say, “No” when you need to.
5. It’s OK to grieve a loss. Whether you have lost a loved one, a pet, or a dream, it’s important to work through the stages of grief. Grief does not make you weak. Grief is not a waste of time or a self-centered bid for sympathy. Giving yourself permission to grieve appropriately allows you to work through the loss, and move on in a healthy manner.
6. It’s OK to dream impossible dreams. First of all, it’s perfectly OK to indulge in a spot of fanciful daydreaming, such as imagining yourself with superpowers. Exercising your imagination like that is good for your creative side. On a more serious note, it’s also fine to dream about accomplishing things that seem impossible. Great advances in every field were accomplished by men and women who weren’t afraid to dream impossible dreams. So go ahead and dream. What’s impossible for you today may be within reach five or ten years down the road. You never know what you might accomplish if you give it dedicated effort.
7. It’s OK to ignore your phone (sometimes). There are times when answering the phone is important, such as when a customer service representative is at work, or a doctor is on call. But for most of us, most of the time, we don’t need to immediately respond to every call that comes in. It’s OK to let calls go to voicemail when you are doing something more important, such as reading a book to a child, or enjoying tea with a friend. Go ahead, I dare you to ignore it the next time it rings.
In what areas of life do you struggle to give yourself permission? I hope this encourages you to try this week.
This us great! Thanks, Lisa!
I saw this concept somewhere and it immediately grabbed my attention! In this crazy world we need reasons to be OK!