Sometimes life is frustrating, disappointing, or overwhelming.
When we’re facing moments like those, we need to hear that it’s OK. That we’re OK. That life will be OK.
Welcome to week two of “21 Days of OK.” You can find week one here.
Week Two: Don’t beat yourself up
Some days we blow it. We make mistakes. We fail to live up to expectations. We fall short of our goals. On days like that, we need gentle reminders not to beat ourselves up for our failures. We need to remember that it’s OK to be imperfect.
Here are a week’s worth of situations where we need to extend grace to ourselves and remind ourselves that we’re OK.
1. It’s OK to admit you’re not OK. We don’t like to admit we’re weak. Or struggling. Or overwhelmed. It’s easier and safer to pretend all is fine than to admit the truth. But that attitude isn’t going to help us overcome whatever is wrong. When we’re struggling we need to extend grace to ourselves. Life is not OK and we shouldn’t expect that we are able to perform as if it were. Nor should we hide the problem from trusted friends.
2. It’s OK to not get it all finished. First of all, it’s impossible. No matter how hard we work, there will always be more tasks waiting for us. Secondly, there are more important things in life than crossing every item off our To-Do list. Barring emergencies, it’s OK to leave tasks for tomorrow.
3. It’s OK to admit mistakes. You and I are not perfect. That means, no matter how hard we try, sometimes we will make mistakes. This does not make us awful people. This does not make us failures. It makes us normal. Successful people don’t waste time beating themselves up for every mistake. They have learned to admit their mistakes, make amends if necessary, and move on. You can, too.
4. It’s OK to have a slow day. It’s a wonderful feeling to wake up alert, energized, and rarin’ to go. But some days we don’t feel so alert and alive. Some days our bodies lack our customary energy, or our brains refuse to think with their usual clarity. I call this having a slow day. On slow days we should be kind to ourselves. We should admit we aren’t working at optimum capacity and make adjustments accordingly. (If you feel slow every day, it’s probably a sign that something is amiss. Time to identify and rectify the root problem.)
5. It’s OK to make “bad” art. Most of us are not professional artists, musicians, or dancers. This means, when we dabble in art, it will not look or sound as good at that produced by the pros. So what? For amateurs, the purpose of art is to enjoy the experience, not to produce a museum-worthy end product. Quit judging yourself (and your friends) on the “quality” of your art and focus on the joy you get in creating it.
6. It’s OK to cheat on a diet (now and then). Some days the temptation is too much and we blow it. When that happens, it’s better to forgive ourselves and try again tomorrow than it is to obsess over our failure. Yes, consistency is how good habits are formed, but sometimes getting too legalistic dooms us to failure. Give yourself a little grace—and an occasional, planned-ahead-of-time indulgence.
7. It’s OK to change your mind (sometimes). We shouldn’t be wishy-washy, changing our minds or our goals with every whim. But at the other extreme, we shouldn’t consider every decision set in concrete. No matter how hard we try, we will sometimes make decisions that turn out to be unhelpful or misdirected. In those cases, it’s better to change our decision than to stick with one we now see was incorrect. Changing a decision does not mean you are a quitter or a failure.
Where do you have the hardest time extending grace to yourself for your failings? Maybe this week you can accept that it’s OK to be less than perfect.
I love this! Especially that it is ok to admit that we are not ok. It’s so much easier to deny our pain and pretend we are fine, even though it causes us more pain. Thank you so much for these gentle reminders!
You are welcome. We all need gentle reminders in life to be kinder to ourselves.
What a great reminder! I tend to have more slow days than I like, due to illness, but I’ve learned recently to listen to my body and that having a ‘lazy day’ is what I need sometimes to recuperate. I also have too many cheat days but working on that one! Thanks for sharing these wonderful reminders to be kind to ourselves 🙂
It can be so hard to admit to ourselves that we’re not as strong as we want to be. But in the long run we’ll be healthier if we practice self-care and allow slow days. I try to remind myself that slow still means progress!