5 Ways I Lighten My Load

I am always looking for ways to simplify my life. A simpler life is less exhausting and leaves more time for things I enjoy. But a simpler life won’t happen by accident. In a world filled with distractions and complications, simplifying my life requires making choices that lighten my load.

What do I mean by lightening my load?

We all carry the weight of responsibilities and expectations: Tasks we must accomplish. Anxiety over things we need to do and things we want to change. People we want to please or impress. Goals we wish to achieve. I could go on, but you get the idea. That’s why simplifying my life involves reducing the load of responsibilities, expectations, and worries I carry around. Or maybe, lightening my load and simplifying my life are two ways of saying the same thing?

In any case, here are five mindsets or strategies I employ to lighten my load and make my life simpler, happier, and less stressful.

Give myself margin

In a perfect world, things would always go as planned. Our devices and appliances would be glitch-free, we’d never get lost or stuck in traffic, and other people would never run late. But we don’t live in a perfect world, so we need to plan on things going awry from time to time. That’s why we need margin.

Margin is the white space in life. The padding between appointments. The rest breaks between tasks. The extra time I allot for getting somewhere so I’m not thrown into a panic if I miss a turn or can’t find a parking spot. Margin is what keeps me sane and able to cope. It lightens my load of stress, frustration, and anxiety.

I don’t like feeling rushed, so I give myself time to get somewhere early. That way I can relax for a few moments and settle my thoughts before facing the appointment. Also, I don’t have bottomless energy, so I can’t go from one task to the next all day without breaks to catch my breath and slow my racing thoughts. So I’ve learned to pace myself by spreading tasks over a longer timeframe.

Don’t get hung up on minor imperfections

Anyone who’s been camping understands that despite your best attempts to plan for all situations, something will go wrong. Camping requires an attitude of resourcefulness, and the flexibility to roll with the punches. That’s why my sister-in-law developed a mantra for her girls when they went camping and things didn’t turn out the way they’ planned: It doesn’t matter; we’re camping. Some examples:

• I spilled cocoa on my jeans! It doesn’t matter; we’re camping. Wipe the spot with a damp rag and we’ll wash them when we get home.
• This campsite doesn’t have electricity and I need to charge my phone! It doesn’t matter; we’re camping. I guess you’ll just have to wait until we get home to check your social media.
• I forgot to pack socks! It doesn’t matter; we’re camping. Then make do. Either go without or wear the same pair all weekend. This isn’t a fashion show, after all.
• An ant crawled onto my plate! It doesn’t matter; we’re camping. Don’t worry, it won’t eat much. Flick it away and finish your lunch.

Our family applies that phrase to a whole host of situations that don’t involve leaky tents, recalcitrant camp stoves, or damp picnic tables. Because—as camping illustrates—we carry far too many expectations that don’t matter nearly as much as we think they do. The more I am able to let go of my expectations for perfection and embrace making the best of whatever happens, the happier I am. And the less energy I waste stressing over things that don’t matter. How can you lighten your load by reminding yourself that, in the greater scheme of things, it really doesn’t matter?

Pick my battles

We can’t fix everything we wish we could fix. Some things are beyond out control. Some problems aren’t our responsibility (even though they drive us crazy). And we don’t have the time or energy to deal with every problem in our world all at once. Which means we need to pick which battles to fight right now and which ones we must leave until later. Choosing not to fight certain battles is an important way to lighten my load.

The trick is to choose wisely. Here are some tips to help you pick which battles are worth fighting.

• Don’t waste energy on things you can’t control. Unless fighting a systemic problem is your calling, don’t complicate your life trying to fix things you have no control over.
• Focus on the issues that have the biggest impact on the health and sanity of those involved. Pick the battles that will net you the biggest improvements to your quality of life.
• Many things will work themselves out eventually without our intervention. For example, as our children mature they will slowly drop childish behaviors or get over annoying phases on their own. So don’t waste time stressing over things that the natural progression of time and growth will likely take care of.
• Consider the cost. Some battles aren’t worth the trauma of fighting them. Picking the wrong battle to fight can cause more damage than benefit. Sometimes it’s wiser to set that issue aside and wait for a more opportune time, or a better season of life.

Let go of proving I am right

I like to be right. I have a reputation for knowing stuff, therefore proving I know what I’m talking about is a constant temptation. And of course, I like to win arguments as much as the next person.

But I’ve learned that being kind is more important to than being right. Winning an argument is rarely more important than maintaining a peaceful home or loving relationships. Even when the other person is wrong and I am right!

Likewise, it’s not my duty to correct everyone who misquotes something, uses incorrect grammar, or gets their facts mixed up. No one likes being corrected, especially in front of others. And most of the time, choosing NOT to correct others on some minor point won’t adversely affect their health and safety or the issue under discussion.

More often than not, being right is really about pride. I want to prove I’m right to impress someone or make someone else look bad. Not the values I wish to pursue.

Practice the two-minute rule

When unfinished tasks pile up, it impedes progress, adds guilt, and weighs us down. So I try not to leave simple jobs unfinished. Whenever I’m tempted to set something aside to deal with later I ask myself if the two-minute rule applies. If I can complete the task in two(ish) minutes or less, I carry on and get the dang thing finished.

It’s surprising how many simple tasks, such as folding laundry or filing papers, can be done in less time than I think. So I’m getting better at just doing them instead of procrastinating. Because having fewer tasks lurking in the back of my brain means less stress and a more enjoyable day.

I hope these five strategies that I use to lighten my load have inspired you to look for ways to simplify your life. Which of them do you most identify with? How can you lighten your load this week by adopting one of these concepts?