I am always on the lookout for books that might help my readers, so a book about lies women believe and how to break through those issues immediately caught my attention.
In her medical practice, Dr. Dalton-Smith recognizes that many of her patients needed something beyond physical healing. In her new book, she shares how to combat seven common lies she sees over and over again in her patients that are preventing them from reaching their full health and potential.
I have encountered all of these lies at one time or another. Some of them hit home more than others. Which of them do you need to hear about today?
7 lies women tell themselves and how to break past them
Perfection
The Lie: My goal in life should be perfection in all areas.
Better truths: No one is perfect and perfection is impossible to attain. There is a difference between excellence and perfection. Pursuing ongoing growth toward excellence instead of perfection frees you from the twin burdens of never living up to your standards and always needing to hide your weaknesses.
Quote from the book: Perfection implies that “… there is one route to excellence; there are no allowances for interpretation, no creative freedoms, no liberties to take, and no opportunities for growth. Perfection closes the door on the boundless possibilities given you in the Word of God.” (emphasis mine)
Envy
The Lie: I could be happy if only I had her life.
Better truths: Everyone has struggles, even if we don’t see them. Choose to bloom where God has planted you instead of wishing he had planted you somewhere else. Accepting who you are and where you are today doesn’t mean you are passively accepting your lot in life. Rather, self-acceptance and self-knowledge are the foundations for growth.
Quote from the book: “If you are always striving to be like the woman in the office beside you, it will cause unnecessary stress in your life. Over time this competitive nature will spread like a cancer into other areas of your life, including your happiness. Learning how to appreciate your uniqueness is vital to a life of freedom and contentment.”
Body Image
The Lie: If I find the right diet or exercise routine, I can look like that.
Better truths: We are responsible for doing what we can to keep our bodies healthy, but the goal should not be to attain a movie star physique. That path leads only to disappointment. Instead, we should focus on making small, sustainable changes to improve our overall health and ability to live with purpose and satisfaction.
Quote from the book: “The reality is that no amount of exercise or dieting will produce a carbon copy of someone else’s body. … Yielding the outcome of your efforts to God will free you to enjoy the positive changes within your body.”
Balance
The Lie: If you don’t do something 100% then there’s no reason to bother at all.
Better truths: Most things in life are not all-or-nothing choices. A balanced life means adding and subtracting activities and the amount of time you devote to them as your life changes from season to season. Give yourself permission to do what you can where you are.
Quote from the book: “Many women struggle with balance because we get caught in the trap that it’s all or none. You believe you have to choose either your kids or your career. You have to be either a fitness guru or a couch potato.”
Control
The Lie: I need to be in control in order to be happy and successful.
Better truths: God is in control, not you. Instead of trying to control every moment of your day, choose to relinquish control and give yourself leeway to accept the little interruptions, bunny trails, and unexpected opportunities that come your way. You cannot predict where or when a serendipitous moment will occur that could forever make your life better.
Quote from the book: “Trying to control life will cost you something. For some, the price is peace, for others it’s joy, and for still others it’s a lost experience.”
Emotions
The Lie: Mature, healthy women don’t have emotional messes.
Better truths: No one is capable of keeping their emotions in check at all times—nor is it healthy to try to live that way. Being transparent (within proper boundaries) is far healthier than keeping your feelings hidden from all. Transparency builds strong, healthy relationships that can sustain you through hard times.
Quote from the book: “Weak relationships are the result of a weak foundation. When trouble shakes the foundation of your soul, you learn quickly whether your foundation is strong enough to maintain your equilibrium. Even good foundations crack, but a crack will not cause you to crumble to the ground. Cracks can be repaired and foundations can be refortified.”
Limits
The Lie: Everything has conditions or limits.
Better truths: Past disappointments often cause us to limit our future expectations out of a misguided desire to lessen disappointment. As a result, we place unnecessary limits on what we expect, ask for, dream about, and allow ourselves to receive from God and from life. We often see only a fragment of the big picture, so we must not allow our current view of life to limit our faith in what is possible.
Quote from the book: “Many have a much harder time receiving verbal, physical, and spiritual gifts, yet these are the gifts with the greatest value. Verbal gifts of appreciation, affirmation, gratitude and love are necessary to help remind us of our self-worth. … What will you say the next time someone gives you an unexpected compliment? … How will you respond when someone extends unrequested help?”
In summary
As with many self-help books, I found myself nodding agreement with much of what she said—and then there were the sections that hit home. I discovered some places where I have been allowing lies to color my outlook and choices. I bet you will discover some in your life, too.
This was not an earthshaking book, but it did provide both encouragement and food for thought. Renewing your mind is a constant process, and the insights and inspirational stories in this book can help.
Which of these lies hits home the hardest in your current life? If one or more of them resonated with you, why not check out the book: Set Free to Live Free: Breaking Through the 7 Lies Women Tell Themselves by Saundra Dalton-Smith
Sometimes reading something can really shift our perspective and mindset, and it’s often much needed. I have done this with how I view productivity and success, that for so long I bought into other people’s ideas, including societies, about what/how much I should be doing in order to be valuable. We all need to look at what these beliefs do for us and who/what else benefits from us buying into them. Thanks for sharing these, you’ve got me rethinking a lot — I really appreciate it.
We should all inspect and question our beliefs more often than we do. Thank goodness for people who create books and other resources that help us see when we’ve been believing other people’s ideas without questioning their validity. I’m so glad my post encouraged you. May you find new joy and freedom!
This looks like a very beneficial, and insightful book. Thanks for sharing! I’m adding to my reading list!!
I also recommend her book on the 7 types of rest we need, titled Sacred Rest, which talks about how we need rest in all areas of our lives, not just our physical bodies. Very eye opening.