There are some personality types who love a good challenge. Telling them they can’t do a thing is a guaranteed motivator for them to do it—just to prove us wrong. I admire their courage, confidence, and tenacity, because I tend to give up too easily.
I am naturally risk-averse, and I tend to avoid anything that I think might take a lot of energy, conflict, or hassle. I did not inherit the stubborn gene that other members of my family have, which means I tend to give up too quickly, because it’s easier than fighting my way through whatever the issue might be.
I’m also prone to over-analyzing things, which leads to procrastination and inertia instead of action.
This is one of the reasons I blog about living intentionally. I need to be intentional myself about living each day fully instead of giving up the moment things get tough and withdrawing into my safe place. (My safe place is the inside of my own head. A warm blanket, a cup of tea and dark chocolate help, too.)
Some reasons why we give up too easily:
- We chicken out before we even start.
- We don’t feel like doing it today.
- It’s easier to give in and avoid conflict.
- We second guess our decisions and talk ourselves out of it.
- Our inner critic convinces us we aren’t capable.
- It’s harder than we thought, so we give up.
- We don’t feel like we’ve made enough headway, so we give up.
- We want to do it, but we’re too afraid to start.
- We start into it, but then we get intimidated because it’s too big a task and we quit. (Because our inner critic tells us we’re sure to fail.)
- We hate moving out of our comfort zone.
How many of those sound familiar?
What’s the antidote for giving up too easily?
Unfortunately, there isn’t a magic bullet that will cure you or me from the tendency to give in or give up. But there are strategies that can help us overcome our hesitation and take more action more of the time. Here is one simple tool that has the potential to help.
It’s called the 5 Second Rule.
The 5 Second Rule?
It’s a quick but powerful trick that helps you get past many of the items I listed above. It’s very simple, (but it’s not easy). Here’s the concept
Whenever you have an impulse to act in a positive way, you have five seconds to act before habit, fear, feelings, or negative thoughts will stifle the impulse. The 5 Second Rule will help you act before hesitation sets in and you’re stuck in your safe, comfy rut.
Here’s how it works: When you get an idea or an impulse to act, immediately begin counting down from five. 5 – 4- 3 – 2 – 1. When you get to 1, LAUNCH YOURSELF into action.
That’s it. The whole technique!
I discovered this simple trick in a book called The 5 Second Rule by Mel Robbins. Here’s what the atuhor says about it.
“The counting will help you focus on the goal or commitment and distract you from the worries, thoughts, and fears in your mind. … It’s so simple but let me hammer this home one more time. Anytime there’s something you know you should do, but you feel uncertain, afraid, or overwhelmed…just take control by counting backwards 5- 4- 3- 2- 1. That’ll quiet your mind. Then, move when you get to “1.”
“Counting and moving are actions. By teaching yourself to take action when normally you’d stop yourself by thinking, you can create remarkable change. Counting backwards does a few remarkable things simultaneously: It distracts you from your worries, it focuses your attention on what you need to do, it prompts you to act, and it interrupts the habits of hesitating, overthinking and holding yourself back.”
Mel Robbins, in The 5 Second Rule
Giving up too easily and the snooze button
Mel suggests you start using the 5 Second Rule by getting out of bed the moment your alarm rings instead of hitting the snooze button. Yep, you heard me. DO NOT hit that snooze button.
Why is that a big deal? Because it’s HARD to get out of bed. By doing that one hard thing you’ve accomplished two things: First, you’ve started your day by acting on a positive impulse, and secondly, you are beginning a new habit of acting outside autopilot instead of hesitating and (in most cases) giving up.
Once you’ve tried it a few times, you can begin to invoke the 5 Second Rule any time you want to act in a positive way. Use it to launch yourself past your excuses and into getting on the exercise bike, or making that phone call, or approaching the VP with your idea.
And you know what? The results of those actions aren’t as important as the fact that you did them. You are growing a habit of acting instead of giving up, and that will help you do many wonderful things.
Need more inspiration?
If you’re intrigued, I recommend checking out her book, or you could 5-4-3-2-1 and act immediately by watching Mel Robbins in this TED Talk.
Can you beat the snooze button tomorrow? Give it a try.
While we’re on the subject of not giving up, I have exciting news
Cover Reveal!
Announcing Book Two in the Livia Aemilia Mysteries. Coming to bookstores in early 2022.
“This novel reads almost like a cozy mystery. Two people are dead, and an amateur detective is compelled to discover the murderer. There’s even a black cat with a big personality. The page-turning twist? This suspenseful tale of murder and intrigue, good and evil, is set in first-century Rome and the spunky detective is the newly married wife of a senator’s brother. Lisa Betz skillfully weaves historical details into an action-packed story populated with complex characters. Definitely a fun and entertaining trip back in time.”
Johnnie Alexander, best-selling and award-winning author of Where Treasure Hides and The Cryptographer’s Dilemma
Looks like a good strategy to me. I try not to give up but it can be easy to.
We have good intentions, but I know I often talk myself out of things. I second-guess and then I chicken out. This has helped me take tiny steps toward doing more.