The path to self-growth begins with self-awareness—understanding who we are and why we act as we do. One helpful tool for becoming more self-aware is the enneagram personality types. Think of it as a lens through which we can understand different personalities. If you’re proud to be unconventional and unique, but you secretly fear there’s something missing inside you that prevents you from being whole and happy, you may be an enneagram Type Four.
The foundation of the enneagram is the concept that each of the nine personality archetypes has adopted a single core mistruth about themselves that drives how they act, think, and feel. Let’s take a closer look at the Type Four, also known as the Artist, the Nonconformist, or the Romantic.
Type Four in brief
- The core misconception: There is something wrong with me. I must find the missing something in order to be loveable.
- What they want: I yearn to be unique yet understood. To enjoy authentic connection. find that missing something that will enable them to achieve authentic connection.
- Common flaw: I can become envious of others’ contentment, normalcy and relationships, because I don’t think I can have those things.
- Their definition of best: Best means the most genuine. Acting inauthentically feels like selling out.
- Their superpowers: Emotionally intuitive, a natural understanding of aesthetics, and the ability to see beauty even in the darker emotions.
- They can’t help: Noticing anything that is inauthentic or hypocritical. Intuiting what is happening emotionally, below the surface.
- Typical character traits: Sensitive, Individualistic, Romantic, Emotive, Moody, Creative, Imaginative.
What is life like as a Type Four?
Since I’m not a Type Four, I can’t speak from personal experience, so I’ll be relying on the experts to build a more complete picture to help you understand Type Fours.
Some common traits
- They often struggle from low self-esteem or suffer from an inferiority complex. They have the second harshest inner critic (after Type Ones) which makes it all the harder for them to overcome this.
- Fours are the most in tune with their emotions and they tend to believe the bigger and deeper the emotions, the better.
- Fours avoid being ordinary to protect their precious authenticity. Thus they tend to dislike or criticize the mundane—anything that is not unique, aesthetically pleasing, or filled with oversized emotion.
- When a sad event occurs, ordinary emotions don’t suffice. Type Fours may listen to sad music, watch tearjerker movies, or read tragic novels because intensifying the sad emotions honors their feelings of loss.
- When they encounter troubles in relationships, they assume the problem lies with them and that whatever went wrong must be their fault.
What Type Fours say about themselves
- People often tell me that I’m too intense or too complicated, but my intensity makes me special.
- No one understands me. I am destined to be misunderstood forever.
- Despite tons of positive feedback, I still wrestle with a poor self-image.
- I expect that most people will eventually abandon me. It happens to me all the time.
I’ve been called hyper-sensitive all my life. … my family didn’t get me and could be so hurtful. I came to believe that there was something wrong with me and that I didn’t matter.
Feeling different, misunderstood, and dejected were my constant companions and felt like home. … I tend to get irritated and feel even more misunderstood when people suggest lightening up, getting some exercise or going to see a funny movie. Melancholy has always been my favorite feeling. Not only is it comforting in and of itself, but it creates a portal to my depths, my creativity, and a feeling of being at home in myself.
Beatrice Chestnut, The Complete Enneagram: 27 Paths to Greater Self-Knowledge, p. 291
Suggestions for interacting with Type Fours
- Fours are comfortable with melancholy and longing. It’s part of who they are, and it’s not something the rest of us need to fix.
- Telling Fours to cheer up isn’t helpful. They may be perfectly content even though they seem sad to us.
- We don’t need to join them in their melancholy.
- We do need to affirm that their feelings are valid, even if it seems to us that their feelings are based on inaccurate data.
- Appreciate what Fours can teach us about embracing our emotions, seeing the beauty in dark places, and standing up for authenticity.
- Be patient with their frequent mood swings.
In summary
Each of us is a unique child of God. I hope this post helps you understand and appreciate the artistic, intense, sometimes melancholy nonconformists among us. We need them to create beauty, champion authentic relationships, and provide insight into the deep places the rest of us fear to go.
Does this description resonate with you? If so, check out the resources below to learn more about Type Fours, their struggles, challenges, and strengths.
My favorite Enneagram resources.
Want to learn more about the Enneagram and figure out which type you might be, I highly recommend starting with The Road Back to You by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile. If you want to learn more about enneagram types in relationships, try The Road Between Us by Suzanne Stabile. Ready to go deeper? Check out The Complete Enneagram by Beatrice Chestnut.
If podcasts are your thing, try listening to Typology with Ian Cron or The Enneagram Journey with Suzanne Stabile.
