Are you feeling frustrated because you’re not making headway on an important goal? Are some areas of your life zipping along while others are mired in wet cement? If so, try this simple but powerful strategy to get unstuck and move forward.
3 reasons we’ve become stuck
Overwhelm. We feel too overwhelmed by the problem. The obstacle seems too big or too complex, and we don’t know where to start, so we get intimidated and opt for doing nothing.
Procrastination. The problem is hard, so we put it off. We tell ourselves it will be easier later, when we have more time, less on our minds, more energy, or fewer things to distract us. We dream about the ideal time when we’ll be able to devote our full attention to this tricky issue. Ha!
The reality is, there will never be an ideal time. The problem won’t get any easier and out life won’t magically arrive at the perfect moment. (This is particular challenge for recovering perfectionists, who don’t want to start a thing unless they know they’ll be able to achieve it with as much excellence as they would like.)
Overplanning. We consider the problem from every angle and come up with plans, alternate plans, and contingencies for the alternate plans. Why? Because planning is easier and less messy than actually doing something.
If these issues resonate with you, getting unstuck means finding a path forward and finally taking action. But sometimes we’ve been working, but our actions aren’t producing the breakthroughs we wish for.
What if I’ve been working hard, and I’m still stuck?
Unfortunately, getting off our butts and taking action isn’t the whole answer. Sometimes it’s not inactivity that’s keeping us stuck, but the fact we’ve been throwing lots of energy at a problem without first clearly defining the problem we’re trying to fix.
Consider these common scenarios:
You try your friend’s sure-fire solution, and it fails—which only makes you feel like more of a failure than you did before. If so, take heart. While you and your friend may share similar problems, they are not identical. You are two different people with different personalities and life circumstances. Your friend’s perfect solution may not be perfect for you.
You dutifully follow the advice of experts you find online, or in print. You work hard at their solutions, but you don’t see the results they promise. Again, take heart. Experts know their subject matter, but they don’t know you. Their rule-of-thumb solutions may not be effective for your individual problem.
Remember this warning. “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
(The quote is often mistakenly attributed to Albert Einstein, but thought-provoking, nonetheless.)
How do we stop wasting energy and sanity on solutions that don’t work?
The ABCs that help you get unstuck
Whether your problem is being stuck in inactivity, or stuck in solutions that aren’t working, this powerful strategy will help you get unstuck.
Ask – Brainstorm – Choose – Do – Evaluate
Ask questions until you discover the roots of your problem
Deep wounds need more than a Band-Aid. Similarly, the problems that keep us stuck need more than superficial, one-size-fits-all solutions.
Our problems get intertwined with emotional baggage, deeply held unhelpful beliefs, insecurities from past failures, not to mention the potential complexity of the problem itself. Jumping at the first solution that comes by is unlikely to be much help.
The more you understand the various whys that are keeping you stuck, the better you will be at finding a workable solution.
Therefore, the answer is to drill into your problem, asking why over and over until you uncover as many roots as you can.
Brainstorm possible solutions
Once you’ve exposed the roots of your problem, as well as the obvious parts, it’s time to begin looking for solutions. List as many possible solutions as you can. Consider solutions from multiple angles and focus on coming up with as many variations and ideas as you can.
Include the obvious ones, the silly ones, the stupid ones, and the weird ones. At this stage, you’re looking for quantity rather than quality.
Choose the best solutions.
Once you’ve exhausted all the possibilities, it’s time to consider which ideas make sense for your why, your life, your skills, your personality, your limitations. Go through the list and choose the ones that either logic or your gut tells you are the best options. Keep whittling down your list until you get to your top five.
Do something.
The best solution in the world won’t help you if you never act on it.
You’ve gone through the planning and analyzing. You’ve come up with the best solutions you can think of that fit your specific issue. Now it’s time to try one of them. Pick the most logical solution, or most doable solution, and act on it.
Remind yourself that doing a not-quite-perfect something is better than doing nothing. When you do nothing, you’re stuck. Period. When you do something, you have momentum. You can pivot or switch gears. So take action, but don’t fret if it doesn’t work perfectly. Expect to adjust as you move forward, step by brave step.
Evaluate and revise.
As you work at your solution, you can avoid getting stuck in the vicious circle of insanity by regularly evaluating your results. When things aren’t working quite right, adjust as needed. Or scrap that idea and try something else from the list, until you conquer your problem or achieve your goals. You can do this.
Your Turn
What has you stuck? Which reason is keeping you there?
Sit down with one sticky, frustrating problem this week and apply the ABCs to help you get unstuck.
