Do you sometimes feel taken advantage of? Do you often find yourself gritting your teeth behind a smile, because you’re going along with others when you don’t want to? If so, you may need to set better boundaries. Personal boundaries create guidelines for how others interact with you, so you can live a healthier, happier life.
You deserve to be treated well. Setting personal boundaries is an effective way to protect your safety, health, and well-being. These 9 examples of boundaries will guide you on your journey to a happier, healthier, more authentic life.
Every person has dignity and worth. Actions that dishonor a person are not acceptable
I value the dignity and worth of myself, and of others. Gossip, insults, racial slurs, or other disrespectful actions are harmful, and I choose not to participate in them. I have the right to ask others not to speak or act disrespectfully in front of me.
I may respectfully disagree with your opinion
I am entitled to form my own opinions and beliefs. My opinions are no better, and no worse than another’s. I choose not to feel shame for holding a different opinion than someone else. Neither will I belittle someone for thinking differently than I do. We can agree to disagree respectfully.
Politeness matters
Being polite honors those around me, thus it’s one way I show respect and kindness. Politeness does not need to be earned. I am capable of being polite even when others choose not to return the favor. This reflects my good character, it is not a sign of weakness.
Speaking and acting politely does not mean condoning inappropriate behavior. I can request that others behave within suitable limits without resorting to rudeness. If they ignore my request, I can excuse myself or request backup from higher authorities.
I recognize that not all relationships are worth maintaining
When I discover that a relationship is leading me to violate my other boundaries, or when it drains me faster than I can recharge, it is in my best interest to limit or eliminate the relationship. Not all relationships are meant to last, and it’s healthy to let them go when necessary.
Property is valuable and should be respected
I will not allow others to use my possessions or my property if they show they are unreliable in returning my items or if they or fail to take care adequate of my things. It is poor stewardship on my part when I allow others to abuse my possessions or damage my property.
By the same token, I will honor others by taking the best possible care of their property.
Time is a valuable resource and I must protect mine
Because I understand the value of time, I choose to honor others by doing my best to be on time, and I can expect others to let me know when they cannot meet a schedule. It is not acceptable for someone to consider my time and energy less valuable than other people’s. I will not allow others to dictate my schedule without my approval, or to constantly expect me to change my schedule to suit their wishes.
I protect my time and health by saying no without guilt
I must be the steward of my time, energy, and commitments. I cannot serve others well when I am overbooked and exhausted, therefore I will practice saying no to requests and invitations that are not helping me accomplish my primary responsibilities or strengthen important relationships.
I need to guard my mind, emotions, and spirit
Because of my personality, past experiences, or culture, some things affect me negatively that others don’t seem to mind. I am responsible for avoiding those influences that I know are harmful to my well-being, regardless of what others think. I do not need to explain or defend my reason for feeling the way I do about these sensitive areas.
In the same way, I choose to honor the decisions of others when they prefer not to partake of specific activities.
I will not compromise my boundaries to please or placate others
I have created my boundaries with the intent of becoming a stronger, healthier person. I have chosen my boundaries based on wise counsel and my own best judgment. They exist to protect me and guide me. I will not ignore my decisions or undo my efforts at well-being by allowing others to manipulate me into acting outside the boundaries I have set.
Do you have boundaries like these in your life?
Which of these suggested boundaries do you struggle with the most? Take some time this week to evaluate where you stand on this area. Do you need to create a firmer boundary in this area?
Please do what you must to create and enforce healthy boundaries. If you are struggling to maintain your personal boundaries, seek help from a trusted friend, pastor, teacher, or counselor.
