Here at Quietly Unconventional, we honor the fact that each individual is a unique person with unique gifts, personality, life-purpose, strengths, and weaknesses. We view differentness as an asset to society rather than a threat. Unfortunately, when it comes to those who think differently, we may have adopted some unhelpful attitudes and beliefs.
The book The Power of Different by Gail Salz M.D. has helped me correct some of the misconceptions I had about those who think or learn differently than the neurotypical majority.
The author states: “My hope is that by understanding brain differences and the package of wiring that produces suffering but also unique strengths, we can all appreciate and accept the person who contains that package. Every brain and every life hold potential. Squashing that potential by dismissing those outside some standard mold is not only cruel on an individual level, it is a sad waste on a societal level.”
I agree.
That’s why I’m sharing some insights I gleaned from the book. The more we understand the truth of someone’s situation, the less likely we are to judge, shame, or reject them. And this can be a serious problem, as Brene Brown explains:
“If a child is shamed into believing he or she is stupid, the child is potentially being set up for a lifetime of struggle.” Brene Brown
The book covers far more than will fit in a single blog post. Thus, I’m limiting this post to insights about two common leaning challenges: dyslexia and ADD/ADHD.
General truths about thinking differently
- The book stressed that we should think of challenges like dyslexia or ADD as learning differences rather than learning disabilities. With any type of learning difference, there are positives as well as negatives, and the term disability focuses only on the negative.
- Modern science has shown that learning issues like dyslexia, ADD, and ADHD are caused by physiological differences in how the brain functions. They are not “illnesses.” People cannot be cured of them, nor can they outgrow them.
- Many people with leaning differences exhibit “angular” learning—they are highly proficient in some areas and quite low in others. Unfortunately, our society doesn’t know how to handle those who excel in small niche interests while working at remedial levels in other subjects. They don’t fit the mold.
- There is still a lot of stigma attached to learning differences. Unfortunately, fear of that stigma causes parents to wait an average of two years before seeking diagnosis or help for their children who exhibit learning difficulties.
How thinking differently affects those with Dyslexia
- MYTH: Dyslexia is a visual problem where people reverse letters like d and b. FACT: Dyslexia is not a vision disorder. Rather, it’s a disorder of the areas of the brain that process language acquisition. Some struggle with words but not with mathematical symbols. Some struggle with both.
- MYTH: If they practice hard enough, they will become good readers. FACT: No amount of visual training or rote reading drills will correct the neurological processing issue.
- Reading ability is often seen as an indication of IQ. This is unfortunate, because many dyslexics have a high IQ and excellent comprehension, but will always struggle to read, even as adults.
“The answer to living and succeeding with dyslexia isn’t to read faster or to fit in better. It’s to fine their own path, their own way of expressing their brilliance.” Gail Salz M.D.
How thinking differently affects those with ADD/ADHD
- Those with ADD/ADHD—whether children or adults—are physiologically incapable of controlling their attention to the same extent that the rest of us can.
- In a person with ADD, the executive function of the brain is erratic and unreliable, thus they cannot always control their attention or impulses as they would like. This dysregulation inside the brain is most apparent in their struggles with focusing attention and organizational skills.
- It’s a misconception that those with ADD/ADHD aren’t capable of staying focused on anything. They can achieve laser focus on a task that interests them and provides the intellectual stimulation they crave.
- While medication is very helpful for some who struggle with attention deficits, it should never be the sole remedy. Medication temporarily masks the symptoms but provides no help toward developing better coping skills. Therapy and coaching are always important aspects of a treatment plan, (and in some cases they are sufficient to help those with ADD succeed).
- “Telling someone with ADD to try harder is no more helpful than telling someone who is nearsighted to squint harder. It misses the biological point.” Leading ADD expert Edward M. Hallowell
“Telling someone with ADD to try harder is no more helpful than telling someone who is nearsighted to squint harder. It misses the biological point.” Leading ADD expert Edward M. Hallowell
The upside of thinking differently
- The brain differences that create leaning struggles for those with dyslexia and ADD/ADHD also provide benefits that neurotypical thinker don’t enjoy.
- The neurological differences that make reading a struggle for those with dyslexia also give them an increased ability to grasp patterns and interrelationships. Many excel at seeing the big picture, giving them an edge in business.
- The high energy, disinhibited thinking (daydreaming) and increased risk-taking that are common attributes of ADD/ADHD lead to increased creative thinking ability. The brain with ADD naturally and unconsciously links thoughts and ideas that others don’t, because their minds are prone to jumping around and are less inhibited by what they “should” be thinking about.
How can we help?
- Dyslexia affects over 15% of the population and ADD/ADHD about 4-5%. That means all of us have family members, friends, or coworkers who are dealing with these learning differences. We need to show them empathy and patience rather than criticism and shame.
- In all these conditions, early intervention can make all the difference in overcoming and remediating symptoms. The sooner children can begin to learn strategies to cope and compensate, the easier it will be for them to succeed.
- Parents, teachers and coaches will be most helpful if they don’t focus primarily on deficits but instead find out what the child’s strengths are and do all possible to give the child opportunities to excel in those areas.
- Finding topics that capture the interest of a child with learning differences, and then encouraging them to pursue them as much as they like is a key way to ensure future success. Whenever possible, adapt other subjects to intersect/overlap with those fields of interest.
- Parents of children with learning differences expend great amounts of effort advocating for their children, because schools and standard classroom techniques are designed for neurotypical thinkers. We can give these brave and weary parents an extra measure of grace and encouragement.
Find the book:
The Power of Different: The Link Between Disorder and Genius by Gail Salz M.D.
