Why do we so often fail when trying to change our habits? It may be because we jump into attempting to act differently without a vision of where we want to go and why we want to go there. Without a solid concept of who we want to become and why it matters, even the most well-intentioned self-improvement efforts tend to fizzle out.
Why vision matters
Vision is the critical but often overlooked step in this process. A vision helps us see clearly how life will be significantly improved if we make a change, and it helps us see how the reward for the change is worth the effort.
Without a worthy vision to sustain us through setbacks and challenges, our self-improvement plans are likely to fail.
The secret ingredient: joy
A self-improvement program based on fear, shame, or duty is not likely to succeed. As Jim Wilder says in his article, Joy Changes Everything:
“Too often we forget that the deepest brain change comes from our loves and not our thoughts.” He goes on to say, “Based on brain characteristics, character change is best developed and maintained in joyful relationship.”
Thus, our vision for positive change needs to be built on joy and hope. It shouldn’t be a heavy weight we dread. Rather, it should be a life-giving dream that gets us up in the morning with something to live for.
In addition, we need the joy that is based on healthy relationships to sustain us. We need friends and loved ones who believe in us, encourage us when we’ve hit setbacks, and remind us why our vision matters. People who are happy to be with us through thick and thin, who are ready to “rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep.”
Develop a VISION
How do you create a vision for personal growth? Consider the kind of person you want to become, why it matters to you, and how you and others will benefit. Here are some guidelines. A worthy vision:
- Is motivated by love and joy rather than fear, shame, or duty
- Is not about you, but about how you can more effectively serve others
- Resonates with your heart, mind, and soul
- Stretches you. It’s about who you want to become, not who you are today
- Honors God, yourself, and others
- Is clear, specific, and easy to remember
Try one of these templates to get you started.
- I want to be more of [the kind of person you want to be.]
- I want to use my [skills and abilities] to [the difference you want to make.]
- I want to increase [an important value] in my life.]
- I want to be known for [a character quality or legacy you aspire to.]
Example: I want to be more aware of beauty, joy, and awe-inspiring things around me and help others do the same.
Next, state your INTENTION
It’s not enough to create a stirring vision of who we wish to become. We must also set an intention to do the work necessary to achieve the vision. When combined with vision, our intention is the map that points us to our destination.
Intention indicates a choice to start working towards the goal and to keep at it even when things get difficult. Therefore, it’s wise to create an intention that is doable but also stretches us. We may need more than one intention to fully achieve a vision, and that’s OK.
Your intention is about becoming the person that embodies your vision. It can be stated in the following format:
I intend to become a person who [state your vision here .]
Examples: I intend to become a person who notices beauty and joy around me, even when things are going not-so-great. I intend to become a person who is mindful of simple pleasures and micro-moments of joy, and who has a daily habit of gratitude.
Choose ACTIONS that will help you achieve your vision
Finally, we get to the specific actions you can take to move from where you are now to where you want to be. When a vision is clear and you are motivated by love and joy, it will be easier to take action and easier to determine which actions will be most helpful.
And remember, the specific actions you choose aren’t as important as the fact you are doing something. If you are clear on the destination, you will have a better sense of which actions will move you in that direction.
The VIA method
To help you remember this three-step path to successful personal change, use the acrostic VIA. The word via means, by way of or by means of. Thus, the VIA method is the path we travel to achieve successful and lasting change. VIA: V is for Vision, I is for Intention, and A is for Action.
What would you like to change in your life this year? What vision of a better version of you can you imagine? Write out an intention or two based on that vision and share it with a trusted friend who can joyfully stand beside you as you do the hard work toward achieving it.
