A flourishing life includes healthy relationships. Therefore, if you want to become more joyful and content, invest in your friendships. This post offers 25 ways to become more connected to those that make your life better and worth living.
We all need people in our lives. God designed us that way. Healthy relationships keep you from feeling disconnected, alone, and depressed. Studies show friendships boost self-worth, make life richer, improve mental health, and help us develop positive character traits such as loyalty, respect, and openness.
But just as plants need to be watered to thrive, our relationships need effort to stay alive and healthy. Here are twenty-five ways you can strengthen existing friendships and develop new ones.
Be intentional about staying more connected
- Make the effort. Friendships are important, so make dates to get together and then honor your commitments by showing up and being present.
- Limit distractions. Make a point of setting aside devices and distractions (TV, computers, perhaps even music) so you can give someone your undivided attention. This communicates your love, and it helps you both notice the subtle nuances of the conversation you might otherwise miss.
- Compliment intentionally. True compliments build others up. Complimenting people in front of others not only encourages the recipient but inspires others to compliment more also. Be the change that initiates an atmosphere of kindness.
- Maintain communications. When you don’t see people regularly, keep the connection healthy with technology. Texting them once or twice a week will keep you more connected than not reaching out until you are able to talk face-to-face.
- Get physical. Make an effort to hold hands, hug, or lay a hand on someone’s shoulder (when appropriate). Studies show that these small physical connections can make a big difference.
- Practice 6-second hugs. There’s something about staying with a loving gesture like a hug for at least six seconds that alters our neurochemistry and provides more of the calm, content state that promotes happiness and connection.
- Be authentic. If you want friends who appreciate you and want you flourish, you need to start being honest and authentic about who you are and what matters to you.
Practice good friendship etiquette
- Practice active listening. Here’s how.
- Be interested. Show sincere interest in what interests your friend. This involves caring about things that don’t matter to you because those things are important to your friend. This doesn’t mean taking up all their hobbies, rather it means caring enough to listen attentively and encourage them in their pursuits.
- Keep your promises. Show up. Follow through. Be reliable.
- Keep confidences. Honor your friend by keeping private information confidential. Even when you are trying to help someone else, don’t share one friend’s struggles or issues with someone else without permission.
- A healthy relationship involves give and take on both sides. If you are always giving and never receiving, the relationship isn’t healthy.
- Allow friendships to grow, change, and end. Friendships are living things. They are not meant to remain the same. Most relationships are not intended to last a lifetime. They are important for a season, and then we both move on. This is healthy.
- Avoid fixing or advising. Friendships are about mutual support, not a platform for you to dispense unsolicited advice (no matter how right you are). Waiting until a friend asks before giving advice shows you respect them.
- Learn to apologize. We all make mistakes. The quicker we own up to them, the easier it is to keep the relationship healthy.
Strengthen good friendships to remain connected
- Reminisce with someone over old memories and shared life. Even the sad times can be a positive reminder of how friends helped you through them.
- Try something new together. Friends can lend each other moral support, and also have a few laughs as you make rookie blunders together.
- Buddy up. If you want to start a new habit or begin a new hobby, find a friend who will join you on the journey. You’re more likely to be successful, and you’ll have more fun along the way.
- Admit your needs. Allow others to serve you sometimes. They can’t do this if you never tell others what you need or how you’re struggling.
- Be flexible. Sometimes say yes to spur of the moment invitations to connect, even when they interfere with your agenda. Some things on our personal agendas can be shifted or dropped in order to invest in the people that matter to us. (This includes taking ten minutes in the grocery store to catch up with a friend.)
Make new friends and add more connections
- Make the first move. Initiate conversations. Initiate scheduling a time to get to know someone better. Be the one who invites someone into a conversation.
- Listen for common interests. When getting to know people, seek out the threads that can connect you. Common interests or experiences are good starting points for building a friendship.
- Look for groups or organizations that invest time in something you value. This is a great way to meet people who share your values and also a way to be part of a team all working for a worthy goal, sharing skills, challenges, and laughs together.
- Be patient. Friendships take time to develop. You can’t become best friends in one week, (and if you try, you’ll probably scare others away).
Your turn
How can you connect more with your people this week? Pick one action to accomplish today Pick another that you intend to develop into a habit. And may your connections thrive and your joy be full.
