Are you weary and uninspired? Frustrated with your lack of progress on an important project? Or perhaps you feel at loose ends because you’re in the middle of a transition. Then this post is for you! Because one way to keep the spark of joy alive in times of weariness or turmoil is to treat ourselves to authentic indulgences.
My husband and I are currently in a time of transition. We recently went through a time of saying goodbye to the people, projects, and ministries that belonged to our previous chapter of life, and we’re just beginning to make new plans and new connections.
I don’t like feeling at loose ends, unsure how to use my time and skills, but it’s the season I’m in. That’s why this concept caught my eye. On days when I’m feeling alone or anxious about this new chapter, I can do something to boost my mood and change my focus—by treating myself to something that will bring me joy.
The benefits of joy
“Joy is often thought of as a frivolous and hokey sentiment. It’s a squishy concept lumped with happiness, and together, they frolic in fields and make a regular occurrence in Disney films.” ~ Neal Samudre
However, both scientific research and the wisdom of clinicians see joy differently. They tell us that joy reduces stress, boosts our immune systems, helps us overcome our negative bias, and enables us to become more resilient to setbacks. On top of that, joyful people tend to be kinder and more compassionate, leading to stronger relationships.
I want more joy in my life. Don’t you?
And yet, we often struggle to prioritize something as “frivolous” and “squishy” as joy.
The Joyful Coach puts it this way.
“What I’ve found through my work is that often, the biggest thing standing in the way of our most joyful lives is ourselves. In a world that is filled with so many terrible injustices, deciding to prioritise our own joy can sometimes feel a little bit selfish. We can convince ourselves that it’s not that important in the grand scheme of things, or that we aren’t worthy of living a joyful life. But the truth is, joy is powerful, and we all deserve more of it.”
How can small indulgences bring more delight in your life?
1. You need to give it your full attention.
You’d be hurt if you took your friend out for a treat and they ate it while scrolling their phone. So, don’t do that to yourself, either. If you’re treating yourself, do it wholeheartedly. Mindlessly eating ice cream while scrolling social media or watching TV won’t produce the same delight as setting the screens aside and giving your whole attention to savoring the treat.
“Remember, treating yourself like a precious object makes you strong.” ~ Julia Cameron
2. You need authentic indulgences.
We don’t all find pleasure in the same things, do we? Therefore, the things and experiences that delight you might not delight me.
For example, stereotypical images of an indulgence, such as a fancy hotel, caviar and champagne, or getting a pedicure at a spa won’t bring me nearly as much pleasure as a hike in the woods with my husband or giving myself a whole afternoon to curl up with a good book without feeling guilty about it.
Just because something is expensive or touted as luxurious doesn’t make it an authentic indulgence. It all depends on what truly brings you a glimmer of joy or delights your heart.
And the good news is that many authentic indulgences aren’t very expensive. For example, just-picked raspberries bring back happy memories of visiting my grandmother. They taste like summer to me. Thus, treating myself to fresh raspberries now and then is an authentic indulgence.
Authentic indulgences can be effective motivators, too
Treating yourself to a small indulgence can boost your mood, improve your mindset, and make your day go just a little bit better.
But they can also help you overcome your inertia on a project you’re struggling to work on.
Perhaps you’ve been meaning to put together a photo album of family history, or take up crocheting, or start a habit of going to the gym every Monday. But you never seem to start, or struggle to keep it up.
A bribe may be the answer! (Yes, really.)
Many people find that “bribing” themselves with a small authentic indulgence gives them the push then need to overcome the Resistance that is keeping them stuck.
But only an authentic indulgence has the motivational power to do the trick. The “bribe” needs to be something we want enough to actually get our butts moving.
Here’s how it might work for me. I’m stuck on my next novel and I keep finding other projects to work on instead of sitting down to write. So, I make myself a promise. If I pull up my manuscript and write for half an hour, I will treat myself to coffee and a treat at the local GF bakery.
Obviously, treating myself to coffee and scones every time I write two pages isn’t sustainable, but doing it once or twice may be enough to jolt me out of my rut and back into the flow of the project.
One more note here. This will work best if you start with a small step. The project already feels too hard to accomplish. Choosing a small, doable goal will help you inch your way into starting. And once you’ve overcome the inertia of starting, you will often find it much easier to keep going.
Is there something you’ve been putting off for too long? Bribing yourself with a small authentic indulgence may help you actually get started. Try it.
What are your authentic indulgences?
So, the question for all of you is …
What are some authentic indulgences that bring you genuine, no-strings-attached pleasure? You don’t need to know why, you just need to know they resonate.
Go ahead. Jot down the first ten things that come to mind. Next, look through your list and find some that are affordable and easy to achieve.
Now, make it happen! Buy a wedge of your favorite artisanal cheese and treat yourself to a few nibbles at lunchtime. Block out an afternoon this weekend to pull out your paints and dabble, just for the fun of it. Schedule that massage you’ve been dreaming of for the past two months. You and I need more moments of joy and delight. And it’s up to us to make that happen.
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