Having children teaches you a thing or two about patience:
An infant who won’t sleep through the night, a toddler having a meltdown in the middle of the grocery store, the sixth-grader who announces at dinnertime that by tomorrow she needs mini marshmallows (yellow), Twizzlers (red) and gummi bears (white and blue) for a science project on DNA. [Do they stock blue gummi bears at the local store? Of course not.] The list could go on … and on … and on. Take a moment to think back on some of your favorite disasters, then pat yourself on the back for surviving all those patience-testing moments—by now you probably have at least a master’s degree in patience.
So should I. My kids are in college; that means I’ve passed the test. I’ve learned my lessons about patience and have earned the right to enjoy my empty nest in peace and comfort, right? Think again.
Never too old to learn patience
Just because the kids are gone doesn’t mean I lack for patience-testing experiences (and I’m not referring to the self checkout at WalMart). First of all, I have Cori, my soon-to-be-twenty-one, crotchety, deaf cat. I’ve already described some of our patience-testing conversations, and anyone who lives with a cat knows how frustrating they can be. But Cori has recently added a new level of patience-testing, as it seems she is developing short-term memory issues.
A scenario: We are having a conversation in the kitchen about which flavor of cat food she has decided not to eat this week. The conversation ends and she wanders into the next room. Three seconds elapse. Cori yodels (my husband’s term for her full-volume, someone-is-cutting-off-my-tail yowls). She has apparently forgotten where I am and is asking for me to come find her.
You can see how this might become something of an annoyance. But she is old and lonely and not too mobile, so I usually comply to her plea and reassure her that I am still in the house. (Switching to a new brand of cat food is still non-negotiable.)
Fortunately, Cori sleeps soundly for long stretches, leaving me free to work. Enter patience test number two.
Option #1: slow and steady, Option #2: fast and easy N/A
This one started way back in May when certain arm movements began causing a twinge of pain. Eventually I went to the doctor. I had a small tear in my rotator cuff, but with physical therapy and proper exercise it should heal.
Except in October the shoulder decided to stop cooperating and freeze up. This problem, you will be glad to know, is quite common among women of my age. How comforting.
Back to physical therapy, where I was informed that with consistent stretching, the shoulder would most likely loosen up—but it could a year. Or longer.
After several months and a trip to an orthopedic surgeon, I am finally making progress, but only if I continue to be patient, consistent and self-disciplined. (Why aren’t those all four-letter words?) The doctor warns me that if I don’t take things slowly, one small step at a time, the shoulder can become inflamed again and I will be right back where I started.
Wrestling with patience
In our instant society, slow and steady progress is not the popular option, but sometimes it is our best, or only, choice. When things don’t happen as quickly or easily as we’d like, it’s up to us to decide how we’ll react. We can get angry, or stomp our feet, or give up, or blame someone else … or we can choose to be patient. To accept life as it is right now without giving up hope for a better future. To accept our limitations and our aging body parts that don’t heal as quickly as they used to. And to plod on, doing what we know is right even when we don’t feel like doing it.
And so I try to tend the yodeling cat and stretch my stiff tendons with a thankful heart, because I realize I could be facing worse trials. Much worse.
I hope I’m passing my current patience exam. How about you?
Anne Law says
My patience level has always been left in the dust compared to Franks’ …. Now God has given me a real chance to “get” this life lesson by letting my full blown Sciatica keep me in the Lazy Boy for over 2 weeks now!! My wonderful husband of almost 51 years has “taken” over and I stand (if I could) totally amazed !
admin says
Hooray for those unsung heroes–our husbands! I hope you get better soon. Dealing with constant pain is no fun, and it wears on the mist saintly person’s patience (not to mention the rest of us).
Alison says
I thought the lessons I learned about patience through our adoption wait would make all other waiting seem easy. Bah ha ha! Maybe Cori isn’t the only one with short-term memory issues! 🙂
admin says
Unfortunately patience isn’t something we learn once and then we’ve got it down. Maybe we all suffer from selective “memory loss”?