Please, no! Not another friend asking me to be on a committee!
Most of us are overcommitted. We juggle work, kids, household chores, hobbies, volunteer positions, etc. and maybe we’d be better off if we cut out some of those activities. But which ones do we cut? And which ones do we avoid in future? That is the question, isn’t it?
One way to look at it
While reading Anything You Want by Derek Sivers, I ran across this interesting snippet of advice: When considering a new project or commitment, if I’m not thinking , “Hell, yeah!” then I should say, “No.” In other words, if I don’t have a passion for the activity in question, I should pass, because I’ll do a better job, and be happier, while engaged in something I really believe in. Also, if I don’t allow my time and energy to be drained by tasks I have been guilt-tripped into doing, I will be more effective in the things that really matter to me.
There is definitely some truth to this concept.
If we are honest with ourselves, we can all think of times we’ve given only token attention to some committee or task because:
- We didn’t have time for it
- We were only doing it out of duty
- We were doing it because we thought it would get us prestige, notice, or brownie points
- We were bored or burned out with this particular activity
Sound familiar?
There are time when I’m involved in something that I don’t care enough about to give it my full attention, or to carve out enough time to do it right. Hmm, maybe that’s an indication that I shouldn’t be doing it at all.
So, in theory, if I follow the Hell-Yes-or-No test, I can avoid those ho-hum activities and devote more time to the ones that float my boat.
Except it’s not that simple, is it?
Last Sunday our pastor preached about leaving a legacy. As an example, he referred to the movie Mr. Holland’s Opus. Mr. Holland starts out wanting to become a successful and famous composer, but he takes a job as a high school band teacher to pay the bills—only to discover that teaching high school students was more fulfilling than his original dream. What started out as a frustrating-but-necessary job evolved into a passion. If he had applied the Hell-Yes-or-No test at the start, he would never have discovered his passion for teaching, and he would not have left the legacy that he did.
So then, there is more to the equation than just my current passions and interests. I need to consider the impact an activity will have on others, or how I can best use my particular skills to make a difference in the world. And, as a Christian, I ought to be seeking to please the Lord, not just myself.
But I can’t fix every problem I see or serve on every committee that deals with something I believe in, can I? So how do I decide when to say YES and when to say NO?
Consider the ‘Why’
Perhaps it would help if I first take an honest look at why I am doing something—what is my real motivation, and who do I think will benefit? Let’s say I am considering coaching the under-nine soccer team. The reason why I am coaching might be: A) I love the game and this team needs a coach, B) If I don’t do it, my son won’t have a team this year, or C) several neighbors have done it and now it’s my turn.
If I now ask myself whether I believe enough in that reason to answer “Hell Yes”, I may be closer to making a good decision. Or I might need to pursue it further. If the reason is option B, I need to ask why my son needs the team. If he is dying to play soccer, coaching might be worth it. If it’s just an excuse to hang out with his friends, maybe coaching the team isn’t such a good idea.
Time for a little reorganizing and prioritizing, don’t you think?
Apply the bookcase test
When I go the library fundraiser book sale—you do support your local library by going, right?—and come home with a pile of books, I have a problem. Either I leave them in a stack on top of the bookcase or I need to pull some out in order to make room for the new ones. In similar fashion, when faced with a potential opportunity, I should rethink my entire ‘bookcase’ of commitments. Do I spend time doing things, perhaps out of habit, that no longer pass the Hell-Yes-or-No test? Perhaps I would be better off pulling those activities from my ‘bookcase’ so I have time for something new that makes me think, “Hell Yes, I’d love to do that.”
So, what do you think? Is the Hell-Yes-or-No test useful? How can we apply it appropriately?
How do you decide when to say YES and when to say NO?
How do you keep from getting overcommitted?
This is spectacular advice, Lisa! I’ve had a problem with knowing when to say no for YEARS, and it’s caused me nothing but grief. Your suggestion of looking at the why behind the issue really hits home, especially in this busy season when I’m faced with so many opportunities and possible commitments. Thanks for this!
It is so easy to listen to the latest plea for help in children’s church, or the library, or whatever. These are all good things. But the concept of asking myself where my passions are made sense to me. We have enough drains on our energy doing all the stuff that isn’t optional, so why not try to find extra-curricular activities that give us a boost.
I like that you take the “Hell, yes” test to the lower levels of why. Another freeing thought that I heard at Willow Creek’s Global Leadership Summit is that a need does not constitute a call. (Of course, this was contradicted by another speaker who spoke of some major global need and challenged us that now we know about it, what are we going to do about it?) There are many worthwhile issues and causes to be involved in. God’s call can trump the “Hell, yes” test, but make sure it is God’s call and not the people-pleaser inside you or the prestige-seeker, or the too-timid-to-say-no. Easier said than done.
Well said! Hopefully, as we mature, our Hell Yes and God’s call get closer together. At least, I hope my passions are getting closer to things that please God.
Thought provoking, especially regarding motive!
Like most things, its not as easy as is sounds, is it? But most of us need to say NO more often than we do, and this concept made sense to me.