Are those who fail failures?
What if it’s actually those who never fail who are failing at life?
Somewhere in our past most of us learned to fear failure. Think back to those painful memories from childhood where failure at some aspect of classroom or playground brought ridicule and shame. We discovered that FAILURE = SHAME and since shame was to be avoided at all costs, we learned we must not fail.
Ever.
No pressure or anything. Just be perfect and life will be good. [How’s that working for you?]
In reality, failure is a natural part of learning and growing.
You don’t learn to ride a bike without falling. You don’t learn to play the piano without some sour notes. You don’t become a parent without learning a few things the hard way. Failure doesn’t mean you’re a loser, it means you’re human.
So instead of fearing failure at all costs, you need to learn to fail intentionally
[Yes, I actually said that, but don’t panic. Let me explain.]
When you are not willing to embrace the risk of failure inherent in learning something new, your life is stuck. Static. Boring. Lacking vibrancy or progress. Is that the kind of life existence you want?
I hope not.
What I mean by failing intentionally is that you should be intentional about embracing certain risks despite the possibility of failure.
Hard, I know. But worth it.
Five suggestions to overcome your fear of failure and learn to embrace risk
- Focus on the potential benefit rather than fixating on the potential risk. If the benefit (enjoying fun evenings of swing-dancing) far outweighs the risk (looking dorky at a few lessons), what are you waiting for?
- Take a hard look at the risk. What is the worst-case scenario? Imagine it happening. Is it going to kill you? Is it really bad enough to keep you from some activity or dream that will give your life meaning and purpose?
- Get in the habit of asking, “What can I learn from this?” All mistakes are learning opportunities (whether you choose to learn from them or not). When you develop the habit of learning from mistakes, you see how they help you grow. And that makes them less scary.
- Find a role model. Do you know someone who doesn’t let fear of failure keep them from living a full life? Let them be your inspiration. Whenever you feel the urge to chicken out, ask yourself, “What would Mary do?” And if Mary would do it, so can you.
- Start small. Practice taking small risks, like making an aggressive-but-risky move in a game rather than playing it safe. (Total risk = you lose the game.) After you’ve lost a few games through risky playing and lived to tell the tale, you’ll have the courage to inch your way up the scale and risk something a little bigger.
What small step will you take today to defeat fear and live a more intentional and satisfying life?
