What are you afraid of?
If I were to ask you that question, your first response might be something like: snakes, heights, the dark, or crawling through tight spaces.
Fear is sometimes a healthy response designed to keep us from life-threatening situations (like poisonous snakes, dangerous cliffs, or dark alleys). Most of us don’t risk life and limb on a daily basis, however. The fears we feel in our gut are only masquerading as life-or-death issues.
What fears keep you from pursuing your dreams?
That question hits a little closer to the heart, doesn’t it? Here are some ways I have allowed fear to keep me from doing something. I was afraid:
- Of looking (or sounding) like a fool
- Of failing
- Of making the wrong decision
- Of starting. Sometimes a task is too big and scary to contemplate ever succeeding, so why risk it?
- It would be too much effort—why expend it on something when I’m not convinced the results will be worth it?
- Of the potential for unpleasant consequences. (ie If I don’t open the envelope, I don’t need to face what’s inside.)
- The energy required for the task would be more than I can cope with today (otherwise known as wimping out)
- It wasn’t the best use of my time, energy, and resources.
I could go on but I think you get the point. Fear is a big problem. For all of us. We can allow it to defeat us day after day, or we can begin to fight back
How to overcome your fear and get on with your dreams
1) Face the fear
The first step to overcoming fear is to face it. Own up to the fear. Admit it to yourself. Perhaps even admit it to someone you trust.
2) Realize there is no such thing as a fearless existence
Soldiers go into battle despite fear. Public speakers go on stage despite fear. College students take the GRE or the MCAT despite fear.
Fear is not something we can eradicate from our lives. Everyone struggles with fear. What marks the courageous from the fearful is not a lack of fear but how they face it.
3) Learn to expect it
There is nothing unusual about feeling butterflies in our stomach before going on stage or heading to an interview. Why are we surprised when fear shows up whenever we contemplate an achievement that involves stretching ourselves, risk, or venturing into the unknown?
Knowing we are human, we should expect fear to show up in those moments. Jut as air resistance impedes the flight of an airplane, so fear often impedes our willingness or ability to accomplish something new.
I feel a jolt of fear when I come upon a snake, not so much because I am terrified of them (not the unpoisonous kind, anyway) as because wasn’t expecting to find one slithering by just then. When we expect the fear instead of being startled by it’s presence, it is easier to choose not to give in, give up, or go slinking home to crawl under the bed.
4) Remind yourself of the times you faced your fears and survived
Going to a big conference by myself is terrifying, yet I’ve done it many times and survived to tell the tale. I remind myself of this fact every time I consider heading into an unknown activity solo: I can do this! Yes, I’m afraid. I was afraid last time, too, and look how that turned out.
You can use the same strategy to overcome the grip of fear trying to throttle your dreams.
5) Expect it, accept it, and move forward anyway
If I expect fear to oppose my efforts and I accept that I may never be unafraid of facing certain tasks (such as public speaking ) then I am ready to make a choice:
Will I let fear win, or will I move forward despite the fear?
I don’t want to look back on my life and see all the opportunities I missed because I was too afraid to try.
What about you? Can you take a step toward overcoming a fear you face in your life?