- Are you afraid to let others see the real, authentic, imperfect you?
- Do you want to feel more confident and comfortable in your own skin?
- Are you tired of comparing yourself to others and getting discouraged for falling short?
- Do you wonder if anything you do makes a difference?
- Do you wish you had a clearer vision of your calling and purpose?
If you answered “yes” to any of those questions, this 30 Days to a Better You Challenge will help. Each day I offer a simple thought and one small step to help you move forward.
This is not a 30-day self-improvement program. It’s not 30 days of guilt and motivational hype.
It’s a collection of small choices and simple actions to help you know yourself, love yourself, nurture yourself, and pursue your calling.
“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best, night and day, to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight; and never stop fighting.”
e e cummings
Week One Theme—Accept Yourself
Self-acceptance is an important foundation for healthy self-esteem, growth, and well-being. Before you can become the best version of yourself, you must acknowledge the current version of who you are.
So in order to move forward, you first have to own your reality. Not the perfect version you wish you had but the actual facts of your life right now. Don’t judge it, just accept what is. This doesn’t mean you are resigning yourself to it forever, only that you accept it is true for now.
The goal of week one is to help you remember the whole truth of who you really are, and to accept all facets of your true self.
Week One Mantras
Change is never easy. Neither is facing unpleasant realities. Here are some helpful phrases you can repeat to yourself when you get discouraged or need a boost of motivation.
- I am who I am, and it’s OK.
- I am a work in progress. I am not perfect, but I am doing the best I can.
- I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am a valuable child of God
30 Days to a Better You Challenge, Week One
Day 1: Set your intention to accept yourself. Accepting who we are right now—even the parts we don’t like—is not easy. It will not happen overnight. The first step is to make a choice: We must believe that we can achieve self-acceptance, that it is worth achieving, and that we want to do it.
Today’s step: Say the following out loud: Self-acceptance is healthier than self-rejection. Self-acceptance is a skill that I can learn and nurture. I choose to accept that I am who I am, and I believe that I am a valuable child of God right now, just as I am.
Day 2: Acknowledge your strengths. Self-acceptance means acknowledging both positive and negative aspects of our reality. Unfortunately, we tend to be more aware of our weaknesses and failures than of our strengths and achievements. So today consider your strengths.
Today’s step: Think about what you are good at, what you have overcome, what you have achieved, how you have made a difference to others. Make a list of as many positive attributes as you can. Keep your Strengths List accessible and add to it as the month goes on.
Day 3: Forgive yourself for being imperfect. You are an imperfect human doing your best in an imperfect world. Yes, you have flaws, but so does everybody else. Self-acceptance includes forgiving yourself for all the ways you fail to live up to the ideal version of yourself. Therefore, be as kind and patient with yourself as you are with others who are struggling against the odds to get through life despite all junk they must deal with.
Today’s step: Practice self-compassion. Admit you are not perfect. Whenever you are aware of something you reject about yourself, stop and speak forgiveness to yourself for being imperfect.
Day 4: Honor your personality. You and I are happier when we accept our basic personality instead of trying to be someone we are not. For example: I am an introvert with a logical, problem-solving brain. No matter how hard I try, I will never be a bubbly, feelings-focused extrovert. But it’s OK! I am intentional about living within my personality—owning both the strengths and weaknesses—instead of wishing I were different. How about you? How well do you accept and embrace your personality?
Today’s step: Take five minutes and make a list of words or phrases that describe you or your personality. Do it quickly. Don’t over-think. Write anything that is even close to describing you. Ignore spelling, grammar, and the critic in your head. The goal is to collect as many words or phrases as you can in a few minutes. When you are finished, read through the list and circle 5-10 descriptors that you like about yourself. Honor those truths as you go about your day.
Day 5: Recognize the false beliefs your inner critic tries to sell you. We all have an inner critic. Our inner critic has collected the negative input from all the people that have been part of our lives. Much of that harsh criticism is false and unhelpful. Mostly, the inner critic tries to convince you that your worth is conditional—that you are only acceptable when you do what pleases others. This is a lie!
Today’s step: Practice questioning what the inner critic says instead of agreeing with it. Not every thought in your head is true. When you notice thoughts that are harsh, demeaning, or unhelpful, tell those thought you don’t believe them and instead remind yourself of something positive (like one of the mantras above).
Day 6: Embrace your uniqueness. Each of us is a unique individual. We all have unique fingerprints, and we also have other aspects that are uniquely our own. What makes you unique? What passions and fears burn deep in your heart and motivate you to do what you do? What makes you—you?
Today’s step: Think of something that is part of your personality’s unique “fingerprint.” It can be something you love to do, or something you love about yourself. Be proud of that unique and special piece of you today.
Day 7: Admit what you cannot change. Don’t waste energy trying to fix things you cannot control, such as your genetics, your past, or the things you’re no good at. Instead, accept the limitations of those things you cannot change, and give yourself grace for doing as well as you are despite those limitations.
Today’s step: Pick something you wish you could change about yourself but you have no power to change. (Like the shape of your nose or your lack of rhythm.) Ponder why you hate that piece of you. Look for an unhelpful belief or an unkind word from someone that created your wish to change it. Choose to believe that you are worthy to be loved and accepted despite that piece you hate.
I hope you have found more love an acceptance for yourself this week. It isn’t easy to admit our weaknesses, imperfections, and quirks, but accepting them anyway brings freedom and peace. May you continue to move forward on your path to full, unconditional acceptance of YOU.
Go to Week Two–Be Kind to Yourself
Go to Week Three–Nurture and Develop Yourself
Go to Week Four–Pursue Your Purpose and Dreams
Want a cheat sheet? Get a one-page summary of the 30-Day Challenge here.
