Are You Missing These Self-Care Secrets?

Self-care is much more than a eating right, getting enough sleep, or enjoying a spa day. Self-care is about being whole and healthy in all areas of life: physically, mentally, emotionally, intellectually, socially, and spiritually. Yet how much time do we give for nurturing all those areas?

The kind of self-care I’m talking about are activities that nurture our inner person and bring healing to the parts of us that are worn out, drained, or wounded.

“It’s important to understand that self-care is not just about looking good; it’s about feeling whole. It’s about healing the things that haunt us at night, so that we can not only go on to be our best selves but also be equipped with the tools to help us effectively deal with hurt or harm as we encounter it in the future.”

Christina S. Wilcox in Take Care of Your Type

I hope the ideas that follow will inspire you to pay attention to the care of your inner self. We have different personalities and different life experiences, so the kind of inner self-care I need is different from the kind if inner self-care you need. I’ve purposely included a wide range of ideas on the list. Not all of them will make sense for you.

Read through the list and find the ones that resonate or the ones that apply to areas where you often struggle.

21 ideas for inner self-care

1. Go off duty. If you struggle to relax while there are things that need to be done, this if for you. Take intentional time alone somewhere away from where your perceived responsibilities and pressures are located. You need time where you can be fully off duty.
2. Do something impractical. Some of us are so focused on productivity or perfection that we forget to have fun. So do something silly, impractical or extravagant for the sheer joy of it.
3. Stop bearing the weight alone. We’ve all made mistakes. We all have secret fears and struggles. People like me prefer to keep all personal issues to ourselves, but it isn’t healthy to bear all that mental weight alone. So find a trusted friend and unburden some of that stuff.
4. Stop trying to win every race. Some people are naturally competitive, but we can’t win every race every time. Nor should we try. So practice inner self-care by giving yourself permission to no be the best at something, and instead enjoy being an amateur.
5. Tell your loved ones what you need. Some of us hate to be a burden to others. Some of us expect others to know what we need without us telling them. But the reality is, your loved ones don’t always know what you need unless you ask. So tell them what you need to be whole. Clearly and concisely.
6. Experiment with scents and flavors. We often get so busy accomplishing stuff or helping others that we forget to enjoy life. One way to improve mindfulness is to experiment with essential oils or your favorite flavors. Create scents with essential oils that bring you joy. Or concoct a smoothie that combines your favorite flavors (even if it includes chocolate or caramel)
7. Develop a favorite spot. Do you love to people-watch? Find a coffee shop, park bench, or other spot and make it a regular part of your week. Get to know the employees and other regulars who pass by. Become a part of the scene and soak it in. Go there to find peace or inspiration.
8. Practice art in secret. I usually counsel people to share their art, but if you thrive on achievement and winning approval then you may need to pursue a hobby out of the public eye, so you can enjoy it without the constant temptation to compare your work with others and measure up.
9. Practice a digital curfew. Attention workaholics, and social media junkies. It will do your inner person good to put those digital devices aside every night and focus on something else for a while.
10. Complete a small task. Crossing nagging tasks of your to-do list can lighten your load. But it’s also important for those who prefer dreaming big dreams to getting things done.
11. Find an outlet. We will never be at out best when we ignore the passions deep inside our souls. So find a way to pursue something that makes life worth living. Get involved in a cause. Find a ministry to serve in. Make messy and glorious art. Get training. Don’t ignore that inner drive any longer.
12. Do the Hokey Pokey. Some of us (like me) live mostly inside our heads. Forcing ourselves to pay attention to a physical activity can be a drag. But it’s actually really good for us to get out of our heads and reconnect with our physical bodies. Dancing, hiking, and yoga are three great options. Pick something and just do it.
13. Actually treat yourself. Some of us are quick to spend money on others but loathe to spend it on ourselves. Some of us value frugality or minimalism and resist spending money unnecessarily. If you have a hard time justifying a special treat for yourself, then quit worrying and just spurge a little. Everyone deserves something nice now and then. Even you.
14. Say yes to something a little scary. Some of us prefer to play it safe. If that’s you, challenge yourself to say yes to something that scares you a bit—something outside your comfort zone. In hindsight, you’ll see that you survived and you’ll be glad you tried.
15. Look back and notice the progress. We can be so focused on how we’ve failed to measure up to expectations that we ignore the progress we’ve actually made. So look at where you were one year ago compared to today. Congratulate yourself for how you’ve grown, or the trials you’ve survived. You’re not the same person you were a year ago.
16. End your day with something boring. If you have a hard time quieting your brain because it’s filled with ideas, problems, plans, or worries, you might benefit from reading or listening to something boring at bedtime. Something that captures your interest just enough to start, but that soon lulls you into sleepy, wandering thoughts. This may mean switching from the suspense novel you’ve been enjoying and reading something fluffier for a while just before bed.
17. Limit your committee. The more people involved in a decision, the more difficult it becomes. If you are the type who is struggles to make a decision without consulting others, do yourself a favor. Limit your consultants to a core group of two or three. This will help you stop second-guessing yourself or changing your mind with every new opinion.
18. Create a vision board. If you tend to lose touch with the things that inspire you or give you hope for the future, create a vision board: a collection of pictures that represent things that inspire you.
19. Add serenity to your world. What scents, sounds, textures, and images increase your sense of serenity? Intentionally add those things to your environment where you can.
20. Make peace with the slow lane. Some of us are always in a hurry to do the next thing. If that’s you, decide now and then to embrace the pace of a less hurried friend of family member. Forget getting to the end goal, and give yourself permission to just enjoy the journey.
21. Open up to the feelings inside. Some personality types refer to keep their emotions at arm’s length. We may be afraid feelings will overwhelm us and ruin our joy, but true inner peace and wholeness only happens with we acknowledge our emotions and allow ourselves to feel them. Working through unpleasant emotions is healthier than stuffing them.

How will you take care of your inner self today?

Many of these ideas are adapted from the book Take Care of Your Type: An Enneagram Guide to Self-Care by Christina S. Wilcox