Last week I wrote about all the ways I can fail to remain in the moment and thus miss the very celebration I am attending.
And then I spent the weekend putting those ideas into practice as I celebrated my son’s wedding.
Here are some of the ways I tried to be present at the party:
Party Number One–The Rehearsal Dinner
I asked for help. The rehearsal dinner was actually a picnic lunch at a local park. This meant everything had to be brought in and set up while I was attending the rehearsal at the wedding venue. Obviously, I couldn’t do it all myself, so I assembled a team of helpers. (And I am happy to report they were AWESOME!)
I trusted my help. I gave my team full authority to make decisions about layout, set-up, and decorating for the picnic. I sent them off with supplies and then I resisted the temptation to worry over how things were going. I did not check my phone every 5 minutes. I did not text for updates on progress. Instead I paid attention during the rehearsal and enjoyed chatting with the wedding party.
I embraced the spirit of the day. The whole point of the event was to host a casual picnic where everyone could relax, hang out, and have fun. So that’s what I did. I chatted. I played games. I didn’t constantly monitor everyone else to make sure they were OK. And you know what? Everyone had a great time. Even me.
I took time for solitude. The groomsmen returned to our house for the night. Instead of joining them to play board games after dinner I hung out by myself because I knew I needed to recharge my emotional energy for the next day.
The Party Number Two–The Wedding
During Party Number One, my role was Primary Hostess. I was responsible for planning the event and making sure all went well. Party Number Two involved a different role: playing the part of Mother of the Groom. That may sound like an easier role, but I am not convinced it is–at least for me. Formal events stress me out, and so do emotional situations.
I let others chase after the photos. I knew there would be plenty of others snapping photos, so I didn’t worry about capturing the moments on film. While others were trailing the wedding party, I was wandering the and enjoying lovely flowers. Here are a few examples:
I embraced my emotions. I tend to keep my emotions under tight control, especially in public. However, a wedding is supposed to be an emotional event, so I tried to roll with the upsurges of emotion instead of stuffing them.
I paid attention to the joy in those around me. This was a very joyous wedding, and many times I got a surge of joy by noticing the beaming smiles of others. I am learning to savor those moments, too.
I hugged. I laughed. I smiled. I went home full rather than drained.
And now I need time to recharge for the next thing…
Kathy says
Congratulations, Lisa! Thanks for sharing about this special day. And you look beautiful!!!
Lisa E Betz says
Thank you! Happy times are worth sharing.