Does anybody out there love waiting? I know I don’t. Like most modern folks, I’ve gotten used to getting what I want almost instantly. Waiting can feel like a waste of valuable time that could be used more productively. And yet, I’m in a season where I face a lot of waiting. That’s why the book Waiting Isn’t A Waste by pastor Mark Vroegop caught my eye.
What am I waiting for?
We’ve recently moved and thus have not yet filled our schedules and social circles in our new home. As I mentioned in my last post, we are intentionally embracing this season of change to slow down and wait for direction.
- We are waiting to make new friends. We are actively meeting new people, but we don’t know which acquaintances will develop into true friendships.
- We’re waiting for opportunities to get involved in our new community. It takes time to get to know the local organizations and figure out where our skill sets and passions best fit.
- We are waiting to discern which church will become our new church home. And once we do that, we’ll be waiting to discover where our skills can serve others, and which groups/classes/ministries will most serve our needs.
Why is waiting so hard?
Because waiting isn’t valued in our culture. As Vroegop states, “Efficiency and immediacy are the hallmarks of success in our society.” Many companies base their sales pitches on this, promising quicker service or shorter lines. (And we’re willing to pay a premium to get it!)
Because waiting feels like a waste of our valuable time. Waiting cuts into the time we could have used to be productive and get stuff done. Society tells us that productivity is what matters, thus anything that hinders accomplishing things is a problem. It can even feel like a personal insult.
Because waiting means we aren’t in control. Living with unfulfilled desires, unmet needs, or unclear answers can lead us to feel out of control, confused, and frustrated. And we don’t like being in those states.
What did Waiting Isn’t a Waste teach me about waiting?
Waiting is normal and inevitable. We plant seeds and wait for a harvest. We wait our turn because we are not the only customer who deserves attention. We wait at stoplights because we know obeying them keeps driving safe for everyone. Waiting is just part of life, whether we like it or not.
We can adjust our outlook on waiting. Instead of seeing waiting as bad, passive, and unproductive we can adopt a more Biblical mindset about waiting. We can view waiting as a time of growth, trusting that God is doing something in us while we wait for answers or opportunities to arrive.
As Vroegop writes, “Don’t make the mistake of thinking that waiting means you are doing nothing. Usually it just means you’re not doing what you want to do.”
When we shift from “waiting is a waste” to “waiting is an opportunity for growth”, we give God room and permission to work in our hearts. “Patient waiting embraces what could happen in us more than what’s happening to us.”
Waiting can give us white space. In our busy lives, sometimes waiting opens up time to pause and listen that we would otherwise have filled with activity. It gives us an opportunity to slow down and listen—if we choose not to fight it or see all waiting as an imposition.
What did Waiting Isn’t a Waste teach me about patience?
The book defines patience this way: Patience is what you need when you must wait longer than you expected. We grow in patience by letting go of what we thought was going to be true about our lives. In other words, our struggle with patience and waiting often boils down to expectations. Thus, sometimes readjusting our expectations enables us to wait with more peace and patience.
Here’s a new way to think about patience. In some languages, the concept of patience is expressed through concepts like: ‘to remain seated in one’s heart’ or ‘to keep one’s heart from jumping.’
I like that nuance of remaining seated instead of jumping into something (such as rash action or rash judgement or unhelpful emotional reactions). It’s not forcing ourselves to grit our teeth and bear it. It’s more about choosing to stay put a little longer instead of rushing to fulfill our next desire immediately.
A final challenge, don’t waste your waiting
What if, instead of seeing waiting as an unwanted imposition, we embraced it as normal and potentially useful?
“Instead of dreaming about what you could be doing instead of waiting or how much better life would be without the challenge, use your imagination to fuel your faith. … Imagine yourself years in the future with a hard season behind you. What do you hope will be true of you? Dream about the kind of person you’ll be because of the lessons learned.” Mark Vroegop in Waiting Isn’t a Waste
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